Sunday we baked cookies with Jodi. We made cream cheese cut out cookies, peanut butter & hersey's kisses, and turtles. We had a great day. And then the toilet overflowed. I was going to title this post as the "poop report". But now I can also add the "puke report" to it! We've had quite a few days. We thought one of the twins put an ornament down the toilet. I couldn't find an angel. But Aaron found it. We really don't know what happened to the toilet. Jay bought two snakes but we still had to call someone to come fix it. And then the boys and I got the throw-up virus that Jodi brought. Jay only got a fever and that over-all sick, run down feeling. Pretty much everyone got it. Brian and the twins and Carol. Only Juli & Grandpa didn't. That's good because he's 90. And I'm not sure how Juli didn't either.
We're feeling better. Tomorrow we're going looking for a new Christmas tree for next year. We have high ceilings and want a taller tree. Not sure if there will be any left.
Christmas day we got about 6-8 inches of snow. We drove up to Carol's, ate dinner and left. The drive was rough. Then we also got snow on the 27th. About another 5 inches. I think I'm ready for winter to be over. Although we're supposed to get 50's next week.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Merry Christmas!
Hello you faithful readers. Let's back up to last week. River, my two-year old nephew, was in the hospital from last Thursday to Sunday with pneumonia. Hailey was also sick but not as bad. Then Juli and Brian got sick. Not a fun house to be in. They are all feeling better.
Nate had three parties to go to at school. He wanted three different treats to take in. I actually got them done. I did not get Aaron's snowman cookies done but he thought giving everyone one for his birthday in January would be OK.
Jay and I have been out for an evening without kids twice this month. It's kind of nice. But I really can't remember the time before these two that we were out alone. We need to go more often.
I've been on the tamoxifen for about a month. I'm having hot flashes. I wake up in the night with them. There's a prayer request-that I could sleep through the night. Men, skip to the next paragraph--girl talk--I found a bra that makes things even. Before the surgery I was uneven one way--now it's uneven the other way. But this bra is fantastic! No more lop-sidedness! It's the small victories that get us through.
Jodi flies in on Saturday. We're making cookies on Sunday. Last year, I went to a baking day/cookie exchange. I missed it this year. So I am ready for a variety of cookies. And it is always fun to bake together.
I gave up trying to get cards out this year. So Merry Christmas and Happy 2008! Lots of love, nancy
Nate had three parties to go to at school. He wanted three different treats to take in. I actually got them done. I did not get Aaron's snowman cookies done but he thought giving everyone one for his birthday in January would be OK.
Jay and I have been out for an evening without kids twice this month. It's kind of nice. But I really can't remember the time before these two that we were out alone. We need to go more often.
I've been on the tamoxifen for about a month. I'm having hot flashes. I wake up in the night with them. There's a prayer request-that I could sleep through the night. Men, skip to the next paragraph--girl talk--I found a bra that makes things even. Before the surgery I was uneven one way--now it's uneven the other way. But this bra is fantastic! No more lop-sidedness! It's the small victories that get us through.
Jodi flies in on Saturday. We're making cookies on Sunday. Last year, I went to a baking day/cookie exchange. I missed it this year. So I am ready for a variety of cookies. And it is always fun to bake together.
I gave up trying to get cards out this year. So Merry Christmas and Happy 2008! Lots of love, nancy
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Tuesday, Dec. 11
I went to a Christmas brunch today with Kathy's Bible study group. I decided to go back in January. Kathy said she has been thinking of me and this group for a while. I'll give it a try. And it's on Tuesday.
Snow today and last Saturday. The weather again. Hmm. Do I really have nothing else to tell you? I'm sure I could tell you lots of things. Actually--the snow--and snow removal. What is your opinion about someone with cancer shovelling snow? I shovelled the sidewalk and porch today. Oh and the back patio. There must be a rule against people with cancer shovelling. Although I'm still hung up on my place--Do I still have cancer? Well I better not after all that treatment. But is it really gone? Who knows? So if I don't have cancer then I suppose it's fine to shovel. Maybe I'm just looking for a way out...
I'm going to tell you a story...
When I was in high school, I used to own a bike just like the one pictured here. It was a yellow Schwinn. I got it in 4th or 5th grade. I loved that bike. I used to ride all over but mostly to my friend, Pam's house. Then we'd ride to McDonald's or to Murphy's Mart. You know, to get our nugget fix or our candy fix. One day, I was delivering an order of fruit that one of my neighbors purchased from me. We sold all kinds of things for band so we could go on our spring trips. My neighbor said, "Thanks for the bike." I had no idea what she meant. I'm sure the look on my face was quite full of disbelief. So I went right home and my bike was NOT in the garage where it was supposed to be. I don't really remember talking to my mom about it. I thought I'd be taking it to college. Well not anymore. Mom had decided to sell it. Cleaning out the garage kind of thing. In the years since then, we've gotten so much mileage out of this little story. I suffered a deep emotional scar from her selling my bike without telling me. And then, while we were in Boston, on our way to the MIT Museum, there was MY bike!!! It had found it's way to Boston!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Wednesday, December 5
Finally, she writes again, you say. I can't give every gory detail. Every thought or everything I do. I know that's what you want. When you feel like you're in crisis, you just can't write about it.
We got back from MA and Nate had a time of it. He acted out in school and that was my clue that something was going on. We decided to get him back to the counselor. He said over and over-I only have one friend in CO. That isn't exactly true. He did get invited to a birthday party last Saturday which came at the right time even if it was a crazy busy day. We also went with his class to see Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. He sat with a friend. Small things but they matter. He does seem more grounded this week. But a day at a time. It's hard to be somewhere where you don't feel like you have any one to talk to.
I am feeling OK but have more hot flashes. Tamoxifen isn't so noticable otherwise. I have to remember to take it. So I got one of those pill boxes with the days of the week on it. Nice. It's purple. What am I, an old buzzard that I can't remember? I even carry it with me in case I forget. Oh ya. The full effects of it ought to be felt after I've taken it for a month.
A few weeks ago, Big Lots had a small sewing machine for $12. I got it. Then Juli was trying to find a babydoll for Hailey made somewhere else than China. Some doll with no lead, please. She had trouble so I got this bright idea (it WAS!) to sew a babydoll for Hailey. I mean, I have this little sewing machine, why not try it? Off we go to the fabric store. Found a pattern. Figured out what fabric and notions I needed and made a babydoll in a few days. She's really cute. Except that I did far more hand sewing than I wanted because the little sewing machine didn't work right. I took it back and will put my $12 towards a regular, basic, tabletop machine. At which time may start making babydolls. We went to a huge craft fair. Not a doll in sight but the ones used for display. I could make dolls all year and go to this one craft fair and, and, and... I got carried away. Yet it would be something because we had a hard time finding anything on-line as well. Hmmm. Worth some more thought. The sewing machine could be a business write off. I'd call the business "Hailey's Babies." Or "Hailey's Babydolls." The only problem I see with names like that is that if you googled it, you might get some questionable sites back.
And so the rest of life here is filled with laundry. Straightening up. Cooking to a complaining audience. Boys arguing (don't look at me or you're smiling at me or you're breathing too loud). But the other night Jay told them to either settle down or go to bed. They didn't settle, and off to bed they went. That was the quietest evening I've had at home in ages. Taurus and I have been walking. We've had some good weather for it. Back to the weather--gotta end.
We got back from MA and Nate had a time of it. He acted out in school and that was my clue that something was going on. We decided to get him back to the counselor. He said over and over-I only have one friend in CO. That isn't exactly true. He did get invited to a birthday party last Saturday which came at the right time even if it was a crazy busy day. We also went with his class to see Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. He sat with a friend. Small things but they matter. He does seem more grounded this week. But a day at a time. It's hard to be somewhere where you don't feel like you have any one to talk to.
I am feeling OK but have more hot flashes. Tamoxifen isn't so noticable otherwise. I have to remember to take it. So I got one of those pill boxes with the days of the week on it. Nice. It's purple. What am I, an old buzzard that I can't remember? I even carry it with me in case I forget. Oh ya. The full effects of it ought to be felt after I've taken it for a month.
A few weeks ago, Big Lots had a small sewing machine for $12. I got it. Then Juli was trying to find a babydoll for Hailey made somewhere else than China. Some doll with no lead, please. She had trouble so I got this bright idea (it WAS!) to sew a babydoll for Hailey. I mean, I have this little sewing machine, why not try it? Off we go to the fabric store. Found a pattern. Figured out what fabric and notions I needed and made a babydoll in a few days. She's really cute. Except that I did far more hand sewing than I wanted because the little sewing machine didn't work right. I took it back and will put my $12 towards a regular, basic, tabletop machine. At which time may start making babydolls. We went to a huge craft fair. Not a doll in sight but the ones used for display. I could make dolls all year and go to this one craft fair and, and, and... I got carried away. Yet it would be something because we had a hard time finding anything on-line as well. Hmmm. Worth some more thought. The sewing machine could be a business write off. I'd call the business "Hailey's Babies." Or "Hailey's Babydolls." The only problem I see with names like that is that if you googled it, you might get some questionable sites back.
And so the rest of life here is filled with laundry. Straightening up. Cooking to a complaining audience. Boys arguing (don't look at me or you're smiling at me or you're breathing too loud). But the other night Jay told them to either settle down or go to bed. They didn't settle, and off to bed they went. That was the quietest evening I've had at home in ages. Taurus and I have been walking. We've had some good weather for it. Back to the weather--gotta end.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Finally
So it's finally happened: I've been called "sir." The powder blue of my sweater and the big, dangling earings weren't enough to say, "I'm a girl." Stacy said to expect it. I did. Although she got a free turkey out of it when it happened to her at Honeybaked Ham. I didn't get anything. Just to pay for my breakfast.
Nate and I went out to breakfast and shopping early. I don't think we got any bargains.
It's snowing again today. I thought it was supposed to be 50 and sunny. I'm down to talking about the weather--see you later-
Nate and I went out to breakfast and shopping early. I don't think we got any bargains.
It's snowing again today. I thought it was supposed to be 50 and sunny. I'm down to talking about the weather--see you later-
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving!
Today I'm starting tamoxifen. It seems fitting. I am thankful that there is a medication that will prevent cancer from growing. But I'm kinda tired of this program.
You know what else I'm tired of? I'm tired of doctors, appointments, thinking, co-pays, dentists, optometrists, eye-glasses, medical records, books about cancer, books about surviving cancer, articles about surviving, nutrition, dietitians who don't come prepared, myths about cancer, lies on the internet, more co-pays, cancer, my fallible body, aches & pains, "do this", the feeling that the day isn't long enough to do all that's required...
What else I'm sick of: the war-that isn't really a "war" anymore but men and women are still dying, a tour of 15 months, more than one tour, soldiers who have gone three times, the media coverage of it, 5 long years at war...
CHANGING CHANNELS: If you're tired of the program, change the channel. If only it would be so easy. Something difficult to deal with is when someone you love has to go through a possible breast cancer diagnosis. Most of you reading this are saying, ya, tell me something I don't know. I've had three friends with breast issues. So far, one had to get a biopsy. Still waiting on final results. I think I'm finally getting mad. Cancer makes me mad. It's not that I didn't consider your thoughts and feelings at my diagnosis. It's easier to be the one going through it. Stacy told me this and I had no idea what she meant til now. I only thought of you when I was diagnosed, not myself. A friend said recently that she was scared of what would happen to me. I figured I'd do what I needed to do because I have the Lord right beside me. But that doesn't stop me from being mad that someone else might have to do what I've done.
Let me tell you about Stacy. She was Nate's third grade teacher last year. Of all the places we could have lived, of all the schools the boys could have gone to (there are 28 elementary schools in our district), we ended up with Stacy as Nate's teacher. Stacy was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2005. She sent me to her surgeon and oncologist. That made the difference between a mastectomy and a lumpectomy. There are no coincidences. God set it all up. There's just no other way to look at it. We just learned that Stacy's daughter, Gabi, has been chosen to be a junior reporter for the Democratic National Convention which is held in Denver this year. She is one of three students chosen in Colorado. There may be television interviews of the kids. This is huge! Gabi has credentials. Stacy drops her off at the convention center, Gabi meets her "handler" and off she goes. Here's another story Gabi wrote: http://www.rnrk.com/COKids092807.pdf We know a celebrity!!!
Back to thankfulness--I'm in a better frame of mind now that I got that out of my head. I am ever so thankful for friends and family who have been on this ride with me. I couldn't have done it without Jesus and without you. The ride isn't over. Not so sure it ever will be. But, for now, it's a quiet time. Thank you for your prayers and calls. Lots of love, nancy
You know what else I'm tired of? I'm tired of doctors, appointments, thinking, co-pays, dentists, optometrists, eye-glasses, medical records, books about cancer, books about surviving cancer, articles about surviving, nutrition, dietitians who don't come prepared, myths about cancer, lies on the internet, more co-pays, cancer, my fallible body, aches & pains, "do this", the feeling that the day isn't long enough to do all that's required...
What else I'm sick of: the war-that isn't really a "war" anymore but men and women are still dying, a tour of 15 months, more than one tour, soldiers who have gone three times, the media coverage of it, 5 long years at war...
CHANGING CHANNELS: If you're tired of the program, change the channel. If only it would be so easy. Something difficult to deal with is when someone you love has to go through a possible breast cancer diagnosis. Most of you reading this are saying, ya, tell me something I don't know. I've had three friends with breast issues. So far, one had to get a biopsy. Still waiting on final results. I think I'm finally getting mad. Cancer makes me mad. It's not that I didn't consider your thoughts and feelings at my diagnosis. It's easier to be the one going through it. Stacy told me this and I had no idea what she meant til now. I only thought of you when I was diagnosed, not myself. A friend said recently that she was scared of what would happen to me. I figured I'd do what I needed to do because I have the Lord right beside me. But that doesn't stop me from being mad that someone else might have to do what I've done.
Let me tell you about Stacy. She was Nate's third grade teacher last year. Of all the places we could have lived, of all the schools the boys could have gone to (there are 28 elementary schools in our district), we ended up with Stacy as Nate's teacher. Stacy was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2005. She sent me to her surgeon and oncologist. That made the difference between a mastectomy and a lumpectomy. There are no coincidences. God set it all up. There's just no other way to look at it. We just learned that Stacy's daughter, Gabi, has been chosen to be a junior reporter for the Democratic National Convention which is held in Denver this year. She is one of three students chosen in Colorado. There may be television interviews of the kids. This is huge! Gabi has credentials. Stacy drops her off at the convention center, Gabi meets her "handler" and off she goes. Here's another story Gabi wrote: http://www.rnrk.com/COKids092807.pdf We know a celebrity!!!
Back to thankfulness--I'm in a better frame of mind now that I got that out of my head. I am ever so thankful for friends and family who have been on this ride with me. I couldn't have done it without Jesus and without you. The ride isn't over. Not so sure it ever will be. But, for now, it's a quiet time. Thank you for your prayers and calls. Lots of love, nancy
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Tuesday again
Those days just keep repeating themselves...
I went to the dentist today. Just for a cleaning. The hygenist used this water-drill-tooth cleaner thing. It sounded like a drill. It splashed a mist of water all over. The water dripped down my face. I actually didn't like how my make-up went on this morning anyway. And then I called a friend whose boys did the message on their answering machine. It was hilarious. I think you had to be there but it was funny. They told me I was getting sleepy and that I should tell them a joke. I couldn't even think of one that fast. And my eyes watered so my make-up ran. (Where did it run to?) I think I'm just delirious from the drill sound. There was still scraping but it didn't take quite so long.
Baseball, baseball, baseball. It's all over. It was so much fun talking about the Rockies playing the Red Sox. Until the pounding began. I wanted them both to win. Ridiculous, I know. It's still pretty amazing that the Rockies made it to the world series after being in last place at the beginning of the season. Nate's suffered some teasing about his Red Sox gear. I'm sure he's teased back though.
I have to start that tamoxifen. I've read about all I can read. I talked to the nurse. I'm still not so sure about it. Why is that? Maybe I feel like I have some sort of choice. Not really. The numbers he gave me at the beginning of all of this included the tamoxifen treatment. I'm around 91% done with this breast cancer thing as long as I take the tamoxifen. So there's a 9% chance it comes back at 10 years out. Just can't seem to make it right in my mind.
I had my hair debut in Massachusetts. I went to my old bible study without a wig and without a hat. I am so glad to be done with wigs. Although Aaron & Nate aren't so sure. Aaron still wants me to wear my wig if I have to go into his school. I hate to tell him but I'm so done! I'm going in on Thursday to volunteer to teach the kids about drugs and alcohol. It's their Red Ribbon Week signifying drug and alcohol prevention. For those of you snickering, I have to learn to teach my boys about it sometime. And just because I made some bad decisions in the past, doesn't mean I can't teach the boys about the right decisions to make. I figure I might as well learn to teach others' children first.
I'm sitting here wondering why I have a headache. Well, I just went to the dentist. I'm off to go get some ibuprofen. Be blessed! Love, nancy
I went to the dentist today. Just for a cleaning. The hygenist used this water-drill-tooth cleaner thing. It sounded like a drill. It splashed a mist of water all over. The water dripped down my face. I actually didn't like how my make-up went on this morning anyway. And then I called a friend whose boys did the message on their answering machine. It was hilarious. I think you had to be there but it was funny. They told me I was getting sleepy and that I should tell them a joke. I couldn't even think of one that fast. And my eyes watered so my make-up ran. (Where did it run to?) I think I'm just delirious from the drill sound. There was still scraping but it didn't take quite so long.
Baseball, baseball, baseball. It's all over. It was so much fun talking about the Rockies playing the Red Sox. Until the pounding began. I wanted them both to win. Ridiculous, I know. It's still pretty amazing that the Rockies made it to the world series after being in last place at the beginning of the season. Nate's suffered some teasing about his Red Sox gear. I'm sure he's teased back though.
I have to start that tamoxifen. I've read about all I can read. I talked to the nurse. I'm still not so sure about it. Why is that? Maybe I feel like I have some sort of choice. Not really. The numbers he gave me at the beginning of all of this included the tamoxifen treatment. I'm around 91% done with this breast cancer thing as long as I take the tamoxifen. So there's a 9% chance it comes back at 10 years out. Just can't seem to make it right in my mind.
I had my hair debut in Massachusetts. I went to my old bible study without a wig and without a hat. I am so glad to be done with wigs. Although Aaron & Nate aren't so sure. Aaron still wants me to wear my wig if I have to go into his school. I hate to tell him but I'm so done! I'm going in on Thursday to volunteer to teach the kids about drugs and alcohol. It's their Red Ribbon Week signifying drug and alcohol prevention. For those of you snickering, I have to learn to teach my boys about it sometime. And just because I made some bad decisions in the past, doesn't mean I can't teach the boys about the right decisions to make. I figure I might as well learn to teach others' children first.
I'm sitting here wondering why I have a headache. Well, I just went to the dentist. I'm off to go get some ibuprofen. Be blessed! Love, nancy
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Saturday, November 10
Saw the radiologist. Quick check-up. All is well. I'll see him again in 6 months. The only left over side effect is some muscle tightness that I stretch out daily. I also have some tenderness in my ribs that might be in the bones or the muscles. Ibuprofen takes care of it.
The eye exam--Jay gave me yet a third answer from his HR department. How is it that the insurance website and their customer service don't have this information? And without the actual policy, I hardly know what's right. Although the info from the HR department must be right.
Today we're cleaning house. Not my first preference because Saturday morning house cleaning is awful. But it needs done. You know, the crumbs under the kitchen counter may start growing things. I did get all the laundry done yesterday. That took 3 days. Now we have to put it away which sometimes takes 3 weeks...
The eye exam--Jay gave me yet a third answer from his HR department. How is it that the insurance website and their customer service don't have this information? And without the actual policy, I hardly know what's right. Although the info from the HR department must be right.
Today we're cleaning house. Not my first preference because Saturday morning house cleaning is awful. But it needs done. You know, the crumbs under the kitchen counter may start growing things. I did get all the laundry done yesterday. That took 3 days. Now we have to put it away which sometimes takes 3 weeks...
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Tuesday, Nov. 6
Aaron was home yesterday. He went with me to my appointment with my surgeon. The office staff told me how well behaved he was and so quiet. And then at home with Nate, he just won't leave well enough alone. (And just what does that mean? Anyone know where that saying came from?) Back to the appointment, I had to pick up some records. Aaron told me that he keeps an invisible friend for me. I was telling him that I enjoyed having someone to talk to when I did these appointments. Aaron said otherwise I would just have to talk to my invisible friend. When I told him I didn't have one, he said he had one for me. He said she was about as tall as him and had green eyes. I never would have known.
The surgeon is very well pleased with my progress. She thought I did very well through the radiation, that my skin looks great. I'll see her in another three months. Or at least as long as the insurance will pay. Because I think they may not pay at some point.
Oh and insurance--I need to get my eyes examined. So I called twice for information. The second call was mainly to clarify something from the first call. It turns out that I got two different answers to the same question. Hmm. Now I have no idea where I ought to go for the eye exam. We still don't have the actual policy to refer to for this info. The plan was effective on August 1. The website won't give me the info, I have to use Jay's log-in. The website doesn't even explain what I need anyway. It only gives me the summary of benefits. Regular healthcare shouldn't be this difficult to obtain.
I'm making sweet potato-cranberry quick bread today. It smells really good in here. Like the cooks on the food channel I should say, MMMMMM and yum and totally irritate you.
We didn't gt to see everyone we wanted to see in Massachusetts. It was a whirlwind. I will probably go alone or with the boys the next time. Jay enjoyed seeing some friends but all the running around was not his idea of fun. I was looking up a recipe for some apple cider cake or donuts. We had some at Russell Orchards in Ipswich, MA. I found out that they make some of the best ones in MA! They were written up numerous times. We went to Crane Beach and stopped at the orchard on the way. The boys picked up lots of shells, sea wood pieces and sand. I found that today in Aaron's pants' pockets as I was doing laundry. We had two friend get togethers. One at the hotel at the pool and the second at candlepin bowling at Harvard Lanes. Stow Fastlanes closed 8 months ago. Too bad, I liked it better. Here's what candlepin bowling is if you've never heard of it or never saw it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candlepin_bowling The boys are satisfied with the time they had with friends. I know they wanted more as I did but it will wait til next time. Now we'll just focus on writing and calling one another. We also went to a science museum http://www.see-sciencecenter.org/ in Manchester, NH. We stopped there on our way out of town since we flew into & out of MHT. Nathan got a blow up astronaut that he's wanted for years! I wouldn't let him get it when we went 2 1/2 years ago and he would not let me forget it. All is well in his mind now. We went to the MIT Museum. http://web.mit.edu/museum/ Way too much brain power there for me. Not that I don't like all that stuff. Nate told us he wants to go to MIT. Great. I better get a job now so I can pay for it then. The boys also did their first trick-or-treating. We usually go some place where there's a party and games. Last year we went to the Butterfly Pavillion and celebrated Pop-pop's birthday there. Trick-or-treating: Nate was a Boston Red Sox player and Aaron was just decorated in bats with face paint and a t-shirt. The neighborhood was one street and twelve houses. That was small enough for me and enough for Jay to go with the boys and be happy they went. Thanks to Roni and Russ and Meredith for suggesting it. Nate ended up loosing most of his candy because they were running through the bushes. His smallish bag has disappeared from the den. That's good because I threw away some other candy that had sat in the den for 4 days. Not all of it, just some. He wasn't happy when he discovered it missing.
We're just getting back to our routines. Grocery shopping Sunday, laundry today. Not sure what the weekend holds for us. Talk to you soon, love, nancy
The surgeon is very well pleased with my progress. She thought I did very well through the radiation, that my skin looks great. I'll see her in another three months. Or at least as long as the insurance will pay. Because I think they may not pay at some point.
Oh and insurance--I need to get my eyes examined. So I called twice for information. The second call was mainly to clarify something from the first call. It turns out that I got two different answers to the same question. Hmm. Now I have no idea where I ought to go for the eye exam. We still don't have the actual policy to refer to for this info. The plan was effective on August 1. The website won't give me the info, I have to use Jay's log-in. The website doesn't even explain what I need anyway. It only gives me the summary of benefits. Regular healthcare shouldn't be this difficult to obtain.
I'm making sweet potato-cranberry quick bread today. It smells really good in here. Like the cooks on the food channel I should say, MMMMMM and yum and totally irritate you.
We didn't gt to see everyone we wanted to see in Massachusetts. It was a whirlwind. I will probably go alone or with the boys the next time. Jay enjoyed seeing some friends but all the running around was not his idea of fun. I was looking up a recipe for some apple cider cake or donuts. We had some at Russell Orchards in Ipswich, MA. I found out that they make some of the best ones in MA! They were written up numerous times. We went to Crane Beach and stopped at the orchard on the way. The boys picked up lots of shells, sea wood pieces and sand. I found that today in Aaron's pants' pockets as I was doing laundry. We had two friend get togethers. One at the hotel at the pool and the second at candlepin bowling at Harvard Lanes. Stow Fastlanes closed 8 months ago. Too bad, I liked it better. Here's what candlepin bowling is if you've never heard of it or never saw it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candlepin_bowling The boys are satisfied with the time they had with friends. I know they wanted more as I did but it will wait til next time. Now we'll just focus on writing and calling one another. We also went to a science museum http://www.see-sciencecenter.org/ in Manchester, NH. We stopped there on our way out of town since we flew into & out of MHT. Nathan got a blow up astronaut that he's wanted for years! I wouldn't let him get it when we went 2 1/2 years ago and he would not let me forget it. All is well in his mind now. We went to the MIT Museum. http://web.mit.edu/museum/ Way too much brain power there for me. Not that I don't like all that stuff. Nate told us he wants to go to MIT. Great. I better get a job now so I can pay for it then. The boys also did their first trick-or-treating. We usually go some place where there's a party and games. Last year we went to the Butterfly Pavillion and celebrated Pop-pop's birthday there. Trick-or-treating: Nate was a Boston Red Sox player and Aaron was just decorated in bats with face paint and a t-shirt. The neighborhood was one street and twelve houses. That was small enough for me and enough for Jay to go with the boys and be happy they went. Thanks to Roni and Russ and Meredith for suggesting it. Nate ended up loosing most of his candy because they were running through the bushes. His smallish bag has disappeared from the den. That's good because I threw away some other candy that had sat in the den for 4 days. Not all of it, just some. He wasn't happy when he discovered it missing.
We're just getting back to our routines. Grocery shopping Sunday, laundry today. Not sure what the weekend holds for us. Talk to you soon, love, nancy
Monday, November 5, 2007
Back to the routine
We went to Boston last week. The boys fought every moment they were in the car. You know, you're breathing my air kind of fighting. Tonight Aaron lost it because he thought the cereal he picked out was his, and his alone. Even though we never, ever have chosen cereal for one person. And so I can't even think of anything good to say...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Questions answered
Sigh of relief. Judy, the nurse who did my chemo training and who is the nurse supervisor, called. We just weren't connecting by phone.
The why of tamoxifen--as part of my whole treatment plan including, chemo, radiation and tamoxifen, my risk of recurrance is a little below 10% at 10 years. If I did nothing (no chemo, no radiation, no tamoxifen), my risk of recurrance is 20%. That's based on the Oncotype DX, the test done on the tumors in California.
How will Dr. Paul know it's working? By bloodwork taken at each visit: CBC, liver enzymes, electrolytes, tumor markers. Also by any side effects I tell him.
I do not have to get a baseline bone density as tamoxifen doesn't affect bones. When I take a post-m drug, those may hurt my bones so we'd scan then.
I also let her know how my nutrition consult went with the person she recommended. I went in June but never had the chance to let Judy know. The nutritionist gives free lectures at the university hospital. When she met with me, she "lectured" from those handouts. She didn't want to answer my questions probably because I was interrupting her "lecture." I didn't get the copies until after she was done speaking. She also wanted me to take certain supplements that Dr. Paul said not to take. In fact, he doesn't even want me taking a multi-vitamin. "Get your nutrients from food." I think girls should go to the free lectures, because they are free. I went looking for basics with specific emphasis on cancer health. I did learn things but she didn't actually go over any basics. I'll copy those sheets for Judy and she'll see if there's something else for me. (Oh great another co-pay...except that I need the info...)
And she will put a note in my file requesting that I do not see med-students. Before we talked about them, I asked her to pretend she didn't hear my question if she wasn't the person I needed to talk to. She thought that was funny. I explained how it seemed that the med-student hadn't reviewed what I had talked to her about with Dr. Paul, etc. You've already heard it so I'll stop there.
The why of tamoxifen--as part of my whole treatment plan including, chemo, radiation and tamoxifen, my risk of recurrance is a little below 10% at 10 years. If I did nothing (no chemo, no radiation, no tamoxifen), my risk of recurrance is 20%. That's based on the Oncotype DX, the test done on the tumors in California.
How will Dr. Paul know it's working? By bloodwork taken at each visit: CBC, liver enzymes, electrolytes, tumor markers. Also by any side effects I tell him.
I do not have to get a baseline bone density as tamoxifen doesn't affect bones. When I take a post-m drug, those may hurt my bones so we'd scan then.
I also let her know how my nutrition consult went with the person she recommended. I went in June but never had the chance to let Judy know. The nutritionist gives free lectures at the university hospital. When she met with me, she "lectured" from those handouts. She didn't want to answer my questions probably because I was interrupting her "lecture." I didn't get the copies until after she was done speaking. She also wanted me to take certain supplements that Dr. Paul said not to take. In fact, he doesn't even want me taking a multi-vitamin. "Get your nutrients from food." I think girls should go to the free lectures, because they are free. I went looking for basics with specific emphasis on cancer health. I did learn things but she didn't actually go over any basics. I'll copy those sheets for Judy and she'll see if there's something else for me. (Oh great another co-pay...except that I need the info...)
And she will put a note in my file requesting that I do not see med-students. Before we talked about them, I asked her to pretend she didn't hear my question if she wasn't the person I needed to talk to. She thought that was funny. I explained how it seemed that the med-student hadn't reviewed what I had talked to her about with Dr. Paul, etc. You've already heard it so I'll stop there.
Bostonese
So some Colorado reporter was getting tips on talking like he's from Boston. I'm watching News 2 at Eleven. The guy doing the interview did pretty good saying "Manny hit that ball wicked hard over the green monster." The guy in the colorado studio then started saying "monster wicked" in a crappy Boston accent and then called Ben Afleck "monster wicked." Oh boy. so not the way to use "wicked." Then he told Ben the Sox were as bad as the Yankees in regards to their payroll. Could be but what an insult.
Here's a clip about The Elms, a bar in Denver that all Red Sox fans go to: http://cw2.trb.com/news/local/morningnews/kwgn-chris-parente-visits,0,4506450.htmlstory Check out the clip "The Place for Red Sox Fans in Denver." It's just fun.
Here's a clip about The Elms, a bar in Denver that all Red Sox fans go to: http://cw2.trb.com/news/local/morningnews/kwgn-chris-parente-visits,0,4506450.htmlstory Check out the clip "The Place for Red Sox Fans in Denver." It's just fun.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
continued...
It felt surreal is how it felt. At a breast cancer fundraiser no less. He insulted the Asian wig shop owner also. So I said thank you and left. I wonder how many other women he insulted that night. Unbelievable.
Our first snow and Nate's snow couple in our back yard. We had about 7 inches on Sunday. The roads were clear yesterday morning. It's supposed to be 60's today and 70's tomorrow.
To enjoy more of our night out, we decided to go find a big screen TV in a bar to watch that Thursday night game. The one where the Red Sox decided to start winning. We don't go out to bars. We had no idea where to go. The ones we were driving past, didn't look like we'd fit in. Although we did contemplate a biker bar where I know they wouldn't care about what kind of hair I had. We decided on Indigo Joe's. A smallish kind of place which had kids eating dinner in it. That seemed safe enough. We got some appetizers and a beer. There weren't any big TV's. It was still good to watch.
I found a pink Red Sox baseball hat with a "B" on the front. The hair incident nudged me to try it out. Jay and I talked about how the other hats send mixed messages and maybe that's why people stare. I can't really walk around with a big sign saying, "I'm Christian, married, not making any kind of religious or other kind of statement." However, Jay said I should just wear the pink ribbon. I hate advertising the pink ribbon. But I decided I ought to try. I put it on the back. Saturday morning at breakfast, no problem. I wore it to Aaron's school carnival, no problem. I wore it to a card store and not one woman would look at me. Even the cashier didn't want to talk to me. So I'm thinking a little ignoring is fine for now. I went to a wonderful shop called Santa Fe Pottery to look for a wall pot for a philodendron. I broke one of the ones that came with the house in our den. It was like being in Santa Fe. Cats roamed the store. There was a huge court yard between the main house and I suppose what used to be servant rooms on the other side. Lots of small rooms with rugs, pottery, brightly colored Mexican pottery, spices, candles, oils, furniture. Just like Jackalopes. As I was leaving, the guy ringing up my order asked about the hat. Stacy told me men would be a better support at times. Women get all wonky. Anyway it was good to mention the breast cancer but then go on and talk baseball. He's not sure the Rockies can overcome the big boys from Boston. But they did it before, at Fenway. They also swept the Yankees. I think it's any one's game. I'm going to put a CR on the opposite side of my ball cap. I just can't make up my mind. We followed both teams all season. I love them both.
Our first snow and Nate's snow couple in our back yard. We had about 7 inches on Sunday. The roads were clear yesterday morning. It's supposed to be 60's today and 70's tomorrow. Saturday, October 20, 2007
The first of way too many quarterly oncology appointments
I went to my appointment on Thursday. Left without many answers. Why? Because I was dismissed to a 4th year student who took all of my initial info & questions, because she didn't review it with Dr. Paul before he came in and because he seemed to be preoccupied with something else. I only realized she didn't review it with him as I was thinking about all of it on Friday. He seemed to think I was already on tamoxifen when I had asked her about alternatives. I didn't really want a review of the side effects, I need to know why I need it in the first place. What benefit will it give me? Back up, right to the beginning. I did have my questions written down and I did ask them. There was a breakdown in between docs. This period is so critical for me and most women. Feeling dismissed to a med-student, isn't good. Let me also say I wasn't endeared to her when she couldn't even do the math and called me 51. If you can't subtract, ask the patient her age. I'm going to choose not to allow med-students to do any of my appointments. I was uncomfortable in July and this time. Two times is enough to know it doesn't work for me. If I have to pay for the specialist, I want to see only the specialist. While we do have great insurance, the co-pay for specialists is $50. (Two visits equal just about a week's worth of groceries. You see where I'm going with this...)
I did learn that most of the alternatives are for post-menopausal women. I just can't believe that tamoxifen is the only one for pre-menopausal women. While we're on that topic, the chemo shut down my menses. He said it should return. Time period is vague. But even if it hasn't returned in two years, it may come back then. How irritating. You think you're done with something and BAM there it is again. Two years later. Monitoring my estrogen levels is futile because they go up and down a lot. He said we'd have to monitor them for years to truly know if I was post-m. And if I did take one of those drugs for post-m girls, if my period did come back, it would have been a waste taking those drugs.
The other thing we didn't talk about was my future scans. How do I really know that the chemo & radiation did what they were supposed to do? I am confident that the surgery took the cancer out. I had pathology done on that tissue to confirm it. Self-breast exams seem a bit ridiculous at this point. But I am doing them. I'm right back to the beginning when I couldn't feel the cancer anyway. And no one else could either. Perhaps MRI's and PET/CT scans come only if they feel something. Mammograms come after February. Maybe he talks about this at my next appointment. (Yet if the next appointment goes like this one, I won't want to keep coming every three months.) I feel like I need more info as I look over this three-year-every-three-month-appointment-abyss. I did leave a message with the nurse who taught the chemo class. If I need to talk to Dr. Paul about any of it, she'll let me know. I also have a nurse case manager to call with my insurance. I hope they can help with a timeline and all my questions.
I'm feeling more confident as I've been able to put my concerns in a list for the nurse. It does get discouraging when you do have a list of questions and you do ask them and then you have to ask them again because the first person didn't talk to the real doctor. For the cost of all this in time, energy and don't forget money--I need to leave feeling taken care of. Not just given a prescription.
Maybe the next time I'll tell you what it was like to be told I had a wig on and should go to a shop "if I wanted anything done with it." That's code for "it looks bad and you need to fix it." Oh and this was at a breast cancer Cook for the Cure event. Sorry girls, I know you wanted us to have a good time, and we did until that very moment.
I did learn that most of the alternatives are for post-menopausal women. I just can't believe that tamoxifen is the only one for pre-menopausal women. While we're on that topic, the chemo shut down my menses. He said it should return. Time period is vague. But even if it hasn't returned in two years, it may come back then. How irritating. You think you're done with something and BAM there it is again. Two years later. Monitoring my estrogen levels is futile because they go up and down a lot. He said we'd have to monitor them for years to truly know if I was post-m. And if I did take one of those drugs for post-m girls, if my period did come back, it would have been a waste taking those drugs.
The other thing we didn't talk about was my future scans. How do I really know that the chemo & radiation did what they were supposed to do? I am confident that the surgery took the cancer out. I had pathology done on that tissue to confirm it. Self-breast exams seem a bit ridiculous at this point. But I am doing them. I'm right back to the beginning when I couldn't feel the cancer anyway. And no one else could either. Perhaps MRI's and PET/CT scans come only if they feel something. Mammograms come after February. Maybe he talks about this at my next appointment. (Yet if the next appointment goes like this one, I won't want to keep coming every three months.) I feel like I need more info as I look over this three-year-every-three-month-appointment-abyss. I did leave a message with the nurse who taught the chemo class. If I need to talk to Dr. Paul about any of it, she'll let me know. I also have a nurse case manager to call with my insurance. I hope they can help with a timeline and all my questions.
I'm feeling more confident as I've been able to put my concerns in a list for the nurse. It does get discouraging when you do have a list of questions and you do ask them and then you have to ask them again because the first person didn't talk to the real doctor. For the cost of all this in time, energy and don't forget money--I need to leave feeling taken care of. Not just given a prescription.
Maybe the next time I'll tell you what it was like to be told I had a wig on and should go to a shop "if I wanted anything done with it." That's code for "it looks bad and you need to fix it." Oh and this was at a breast cancer Cook for the Cure event. Sorry girls, I know you wanted us to have a good time, and we did until that very moment.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Tamoxifen or Not Tamoxifen
"To be or not to be" in case you missed my reference above. Ok, so you probably all got it.
I go tomorrow to see my oncologist. I'm set to get a script for tamoxifen. It's for five years. After five years, it's no longer effective. I'm going to ask about alternatives. I'm not liking what I see on the net about it. Jay reminded me that the people with problems are the most vocal. That's true but usually there's some truth to be found in there anyway. I went headlong into taking Lupron when I had the endometriosis in 1999 before I had any info. That wasn't a good drug to take. But I also had a lousy doc at the time. I definitely know I have a better one now. I also want to know what happens if I don't take it. Percentages I guess. Although percentages aren't the whole story. I also need to ask about long term side effects from the chemo & radiation I had. I know most of them but want a refresher.
My days are filled with taking Aaron to school and picking him up. Nate walks or rides his bike. Doing laundry and trying to plan dinner. I'm tired just thinking about it. But really, we are doing normal things. I am grateful.
I go tomorrow to see my oncologist. I'm set to get a script for tamoxifen. It's for five years. After five years, it's no longer effective. I'm going to ask about alternatives. I'm not liking what I see on the net about it. Jay reminded me that the people with problems are the most vocal. That's true but usually there's some truth to be found in there anyway. I went headlong into taking Lupron when I had the endometriosis in 1999 before I had any info. That wasn't a good drug to take. But I also had a lousy doc at the time. I definitely know I have a better one now. I also want to know what happens if I don't take it. Percentages I guess. Although percentages aren't the whole story. I also need to ask about long term side effects from the chemo & radiation I had. I know most of them but want a refresher.
My days are filled with taking Aaron to school and picking him up. Nate walks or rides his bike. Doing laundry and trying to plan dinner. I'm tired just thinking about it. But really, we are doing normal things. I am grateful.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Insurance update
Apparently, the audit was done today and we do not owe that daily co-pay. Only three claims of the many since Aug. 1 (some days had multiple claims), weren't changed. I don't know which ones but it should be available on their site next week for me to check. I now feel a little bit more encouraged, but I'll believe it when I see it.
I made the Chocolate Stout Cake from the Barrington Brewery in Great Barrington, MA for Jay's birthday. Here's the link: http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/107105 It was pretty easy once I figured out the many bowls it says to use. I cut the recipe in half and used two 9" pans with 1 1/2" sides. Great chocolate cake.
I made the Chocolate Stout Cake from the Barrington Brewery in Great Barrington, MA for Jay's birthday. Here's the link: http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/107105 It was pretty easy once I figured out the many bowls it says to use. I cut the recipe in half and used two 9" pans with 1 1/2" sides. Great chocolate cake.
Insurance woes
The insurance stuff going on that I mentioned earlier has our new insurance insisting that I pay a $50 co-pay daily for 29 radiation treatments. Stop gasping, that's what it'll cost me to see a specialist from now on. That co-pay doesn't go towards the deductible nor to our out-of-pocket costs. It's just money that flies out of our pockets on top of our monthly premium. However, we were told that we wouldn't have that co-pay in July, RMCC pulled info off of the insurance site that indicated we wouldn't have a co-pay, and the summary we have indicates that there would be "no charge" in a physician's office. As of yesterday, the insurance company will be auditing all of the claims because they found a mistake in their system. Yet I'm not encouraged. I'll know when they give us an answer within two weeks.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Pink Celebration
Here I am as a daughter of the King. I know I also look like a princess.
Front: Carolyn, Nancy, Gwen Back: Kristen, Tina, Wendy, Laverne, Carol, Nadine, Addison (baby), Mandi, Kathy & Karen
Gwen with Karen's son, Brandon, and Karen. This was our salad buffet with Kathy's Mom's pink glass dishes. It says on the upright plate: God is Faithful.Kathy from my Newcomer's group wanted to celebrate my accomplishment of completing chemotherapy and radiation, to acknowledge the end of this part of treatment. My oncology-radiologist asked me more than once, "How are you going to celebrate?" I'm thinking, "Celebrate what?" I've had very mixed feelings about it. I thought this time in between completing radiation and seeing the oncologist (Oct. 18) would be good for getting back to normal. And it has. Yet I'm reticent about celebrating. There's more to come. I'm on the lifetime plan. I haven't quite put this phase in it's place. And then I remember that God holds the plan. He's not going to tell me all of it all at once. He is faithful. He even reminds people to pray. Especially Kathy, in the middle of the night. I'd bet there's more of you that He wakes up. He won't forget.
It is so wonderful to celebrate with women who have been there with me through all of this. I don't say this to offend those of you in Massachusetts who couldn't be here with me. I have needed your prayers most of all. God knows why He did it this way. We don't, but it will eventually be revealed. One reason I had to come to Denver to do this was because Jay doesn't travel anymore. Another reason I had to come to Denver was because our insurance was better. That first insurance plan got me through the largest part of my initial treatment. Now this second plan that Jay's company chose leaves a lot to be desired. The good news is that we only had to deal with it for my radiation treatments. Still don't have any real answers from them or even the actual policy. That's right, we don't have the actual policy, just a summary and just an overview. This plan went into effect Aug. 1. They've inundated us with paper so we might get lost in it and not really know how they manage the plan. We meet with a rep on Tuesday so we'll see if they have some answers. It's not about them not paying, it's about how they have processed the claims. And then they even process two claims differently even though they were for the same thing, but a different day. No rhyme, no reason.
Back to the celebration--Kathy decorated so nicely. I did feel special. Once I got over the initial surprise and my initial tears, I could enjoy our time together. Thank you for making me feel loved and for just being there to celebrate with me.
The Walk
We went to the K-9 walk for the cure. It was really too much. Too many dogs, too many people. But we did meet some interesting dogs. Lots of the small dogs had on their pink fluffy coats. After that, we went to play in the park with River & Hailey.
We walked through the booths. One was for imaging services (mammograms, bone scans, CT's, etc.) The woman asks me, "Have you had your mammogram this year?" Moment of hesitation, "Um, I have breast cancer so I've had lots of them." Longer moment of silence, I then thanked her for asking and told her to keep asking. Lesson to me, don't be quite so pushy when I ask women about it. At this point, I realize it isn't just the mammos that women skip, it's their whole healthcare plan--skipping annual exams at the GYN, skipping the dentist. I wonder what the stats are on that.
We walked through the booths. One was for imaging services (mammograms, bone scans, CT's, etc.) The woman asks me, "Have you had your mammogram this year?" Moment of hesitation, "Um, I have breast cancer so I've had lots of them." Longer moment of silence, I then thanked her for asking and told her to keep asking. Lesson to me, don't be quite so pushy when I ask women about it. At this point, I realize it isn't just the mammos that women skip, it's their whole healthcare plan--skipping annual exams at the GYN, skipping the dentist. I wonder what the stats are on that.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Top Docs in Denver
My oncologist has been named on 5280's Top Doc List. The annual list is compiled by Denver's 5280 Magazine (http://www.5280.com/issues/2007/0710/index.php ). Eight RMCC (Rocky Mouintain Cancer Center) physicians were recognized by their peers as among the Denver metro area’s best including my doctor, Dev Paul, DO, PhD.
Here he is: http://www.coloradocancercenters.com/doctors_detail_tmpl.cfm?categoryid=1&pagename=4&doctorid=63
How cool is that?
Here he is: http://www.coloradocancercenters.com/doctors_detail_tmpl.cfm?categoryid=1&pagename=4&doctorid=63
How cool is that?
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
K-9's for the Cure on Oct. 6
Taurus is walking for the Cure! Go to http://www.komendenver.org/site/TR/Race/General?px=1420005&pg=personal&fr_id=1050&et=s87MAgMra0YacEGj5u7L4g..&s_tafId=10992 to see my page and to make a donation. Please go back and see it again. I guess I forgot to save my changes the first time around and only had the standard stuff on it. If you saw the orchid type color, that's the one I made. I sent it to some of you but not to all. I've already met my fund raising goal of $100 and actually have already received a total of $200! Thanks!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
About Sunday
We went to a Rockies baseball game. They played the Marlins. And won 13 to 0! We saw four home runs, 6 strike outs, and Todd Helton's 300th home run. It was a great game. We had a 30 minute delay because of lightning and rain. It was an exciting day. We sat in the upper deck behind home plate. It sounds high but it wasn't. Not really nose bleed territory. Nate and Aaron got to sit in the purple seats that are at a mile high.
While I'm not a Broncos fan, they won too. The Patriots won and then the Red Sox lost. It was almost a perfect day in sports--as far as my limited opinion goes.
This week I'm feeling pretty good. It's nice to do normal things and not be wiped out the next day. I'm still looking for e-mails or posts about 9/11. Or call me. There's a book there...
While I'm not a Broncos fan, they won too. The Patriots won and then the Red Sox lost. It was almost a perfect day in sports--as far as my limited opinion goes.
This week I'm feeling pretty good. It's nice to do normal things and not be wiped out the next day. I'm still looking for e-mails or posts about 9/11. Or call me. There's a book there...
Monday, September 17, 2007
Monday; Sept. 17
The house is quiet and I can't think of a thing to do. That doesn't mean that there's nothing to do. But a few things come to mind to talk about.
You are your own health advocate.
Even if you love your doctor, they don't always make the best choice for you. Only you can. If a procedure hurts, tell them. Don't sit back and take it. Ask them to stop or to slow down. Somehow, we believe that "the doctor knows best" and that the medical professionals are always right. In procedures, in advice and in other areas. I've asked quite a few women to go get mammograms. I know what I'm asking. But you don't have to take it if the person doing the mammogram is pinching you or hurting you or bruising you. You need to go back and show them the bruise. You need to say stop. A mammogram should be no different than getting your blood pressure taken. I've had mammograms taken at three different facilities. The routine one, after the three biopsies, and before the surgery. None of them bruised me. None of them hurt. Of course they knew I had cancer so I'd hate to think that's why they were gentle. Back to the current issue--find a digital mammography clinic. Drive to a good one even if it's far. Ask other women where they go. I'm pushing you to go because I couldn't feel anything. The surgeon, my primary care physician's assistant and the other surgeon didn't feel anything. If you feel something, GO! Every lump, every time. If (when) you're doing MONTHLY self exams, you'll know when something different shows up. If you're not satisfied, go somewhere else. Get a second opinion. I don't know what's coming in the future, but I saved my boob by getting a second opinion. Take the time to do it.
Some self exam pointers: http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/self_exam/bse_steps.jsp, http://cms.komen.org/komen/AboutBreastCancer/EarlyDetectionScreening/BreastSelf-Exam/index.htm?ssSourceNodeId=313&ssSourceSiteId=Komen/,
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_6x_How_to_perform_a_breast_self_exam_5.asp
Know that if you feel something, it may not show up on a mammogram but it could show up on an ultrasound. This happened to Robin Roberts on GMA.
Warning signs:
*Lump, hard knot or thickening
• Swelling, warmth, redness or darkening
• Change in the size or shape
• Dimpling or puckering of the skin
• Itchy, scaly sore or rash on the nipple
• Pulling in of your nipple or other parts
• Nipple discharge that starts suddenly
• New pain in one spot that does not go away
Lastly, I want to save your ta-tas (thanks, Maggie!). If you have them, you're at risk. Only 10% is genetic. That leaves another 90%. Has your doctor talked to you about this 90%? Mine never did. She stopped at family history. Early detection is key. Because even if your mammographer has bruised you and hurt you, cancer hurts alot more. This isn't the thought that I want to leave you with. It is a fact. This hasn't been easy. Not that I thought you thought this. We all have families. They need us to take care of ourselves.
Here's a funny--Jenny sent me a cartoon of a nurse getting ready to take blood. The patient is lying on a bed. She says, "You're going to feel a little pinch, then a horrific burning pain, your eyes will roll back into your head, you will drool uncontrollably..."
I hope you're laughing. More later-love, nancy
You are your own health advocate.
Even if you love your doctor, they don't always make the best choice for you. Only you can. If a procedure hurts, tell them. Don't sit back and take it. Ask them to stop or to slow down. Somehow, we believe that "the doctor knows best" and that the medical professionals are always right. In procedures, in advice and in other areas. I've asked quite a few women to go get mammograms. I know what I'm asking. But you don't have to take it if the person doing the mammogram is pinching you or hurting you or bruising you. You need to go back and show them the bruise. You need to say stop. A mammogram should be no different than getting your blood pressure taken. I've had mammograms taken at three different facilities. The routine one, after the three biopsies, and before the surgery. None of them bruised me. None of them hurt. Of course they knew I had cancer so I'd hate to think that's why they were gentle. Back to the current issue--find a digital mammography clinic. Drive to a good one even if it's far. Ask other women where they go. I'm pushing you to go because I couldn't feel anything. The surgeon, my primary care physician's assistant and the other surgeon didn't feel anything. If you feel something, GO! Every lump, every time. If (when) you're doing MONTHLY self exams, you'll know when something different shows up. If you're not satisfied, go somewhere else. Get a second opinion. I don't know what's coming in the future, but I saved my boob by getting a second opinion. Take the time to do it.
Some self exam pointers: http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/self_exam/bse_steps.jsp, http://cms.komen.org/komen/AboutBreastCancer/EarlyDetectionScreening/BreastSelf-Exam/index.htm?ssSourceNodeId=313&ssSourceSiteId=Komen/,
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_6x_How_to_perform_a_breast_self_exam_5.asp
Know that if you feel something, it may not show up on a mammogram but it could show up on an ultrasound. This happened to Robin Roberts on GMA.
Warning signs:
*Lump, hard knot or thickening
• Swelling, warmth, redness or darkening
• Change in the size or shape
• Dimpling or puckering of the skin
• Itchy, scaly sore or rash on the nipple
• Pulling in of your nipple or other parts
• Nipple discharge that starts suddenly
• New pain in one spot that does not go away
Lastly, I want to save your ta-tas (thanks, Maggie!). If you have them, you're at risk. Only 10% is genetic. That leaves another 90%. Has your doctor talked to you about this 90%? Mine never did. She stopped at family history. Early detection is key. Because even if your mammographer has bruised you and hurt you, cancer hurts alot more. This isn't the thought that I want to leave you with. It is a fact. This hasn't been easy. Not that I thought you thought this. We all have families. They need us to take care of ourselves.
Here's a funny--Jenny sent me a cartoon of a nurse getting ready to take blood. The patient is lying on a bed. She says, "You're going to feel a little pinch, then a horrific burning pain, your eyes will roll back into your head, you will drool uncontrollably..."
I hope you're laughing. More later-love, nancy
Monday, September 10, 2007
The day before, the day of and the day after
Six years ago today, Nathan started his second year of pre-school. All of us moms were so happy to be dropping our kids off. Even if we only had a few hours to ourselves with our younger children. I went home and cleaned a bit. Thought about some dinner. Hoped Aaron would sleep longer. Sent a few e-mails, went to pick Nathan up. The rest of the day played out as usual: lunch, nap, movie for Nathan, read some books, make dinner as I tried to keep Aaron quiet, bathtime, bedtime.
The next morning was about the same. I left Aaron in the van sleeping in our garage with the monitor on. I went to the computer and sent a few e-mails, looked up some information. My Dad called and told me to put the TV on. I didn't believe what I was seeing nor what he was telling me. I remember the disbelief, the "no, this isn't happening," the feeling that my Dad got it wrong. And then I saw the second tower fall. And the news of the Pentagon. And more news of the plane down near Pittsburgh. I couldn't watch enough. I'd mute the TV and watch the words and not know what to think. I sat in front of the TV most of the rest of that week with Aaron on my lap, barely able to do what needed to be done. I also needed to listen to the news radio stations. All the time. I did get to a point where the info wasn't helping. Enough. So I turned it all off. I recall that Jay's first trip on a plane after that was to go to Cleveland. Somehow that made that business trip OK. Although two weeks after the towers fell, Jay was in NYC. I'll let him tell that.
The day after that day was so sad. Not understanding why. Seeing the episode of The West Wing where they tried to make some sense out of the hatred felt for America. Watching the music tribute held at an undisclosed location for protection. Listening to raw, emotional and real music and actors in between. Wanting it not to be real. Wishing for the day before that day again. Knowing it would never be the same. Realizing how insidious their hatred is. Wondering when next they will hit.
We lived in the Boston area then. It was heartbreaking to see armed military men walking around the Boston Aquarium. Protection around the bay. That image stays with me. An armed state. Necessary but scary. Even these six years later, I feel sad at where we've come. The lives lost in war. I really thought by now this war would be over. Peace would have been established. A package with a ribbon on it. It would have been nice.
The other thing about living near Boston was that we were only two hours from NYC. It's a neighbor city. I thought that if they'd hit NYC, surely they'd hit Boston, too. What did come to Boston was that Richard guy who put a bomb in his shoe. We can thank him that when we travel, we all have to remove our shoes. And only bring 4-ozs. of liquids. Never take a bottle of sealed water through security. And usually deal with someone crabby in the security line.
Now my blog is probably on some "list" because I'm talking about this stuff. Oh well. I'm just a woman who lived through a lousy time and is remembering.
Tell about your day before, day of and day after. What did you take away from that experience?
The next morning was about the same. I left Aaron in the van sleeping in our garage with the monitor on. I went to the computer and sent a few e-mails, looked up some information. My Dad called and told me to put the TV on. I didn't believe what I was seeing nor what he was telling me. I remember the disbelief, the "no, this isn't happening," the feeling that my Dad got it wrong. And then I saw the second tower fall. And the news of the Pentagon. And more news of the plane down near Pittsburgh. I couldn't watch enough. I'd mute the TV and watch the words and not know what to think. I sat in front of the TV most of the rest of that week with Aaron on my lap, barely able to do what needed to be done. I also needed to listen to the news radio stations. All the time. I did get to a point where the info wasn't helping. Enough. So I turned it all off. I recall that Jay's first trip on a plane after that was to go to Cleveland. Somehow that made that business trip OK. Although two weeks after the towers fell, Jay was in NYC. I'll let him tell that.
The day after that day was so sad. Not understanding why. Seeing the episode of The West Wing where they tried to make some sense out of the hatred felt for America. Watching the music tribute held at an undisclosed location for protection. Listening to raw, emotional and real music and actors in between. Wanting it not to be real. Wishing for the day before that day again. Knowing it would never be the same. Realizing how insidious their hatred is. Wondering when next they will hit.
We lived in the Boston area then. It was heartbreaking to see armed military men walking around the Boston Aquarium. Protection around the bay. That image stays with me. An armed state. Necessary but scary. Even these six years later, I feel sad at where we've come. The lives lost in war. I really thought by now this war would be over. Peace would have been established. A package with a ribbon on it. It would have been nice.
The other thing about living near Boston was that we were only two hours from NYC. It's a neighbor city. I thought that if they'd hit NYC, surely they'd hit Boston, too. What did come to Boston was that Richard guy who put a bomb in his shoe. We can thank him that when we travel, we all have to remove our shoes. And only bring 4-ozs. of liquids. Never take a bottle of sealed water through security. And usually deal with someone crabby in the security line.
Now my blog is probably on some "list" because I'm talking about this stuff. Oh well. I'm just a woman who lived through a lousy time and is remembering.
Tell about your day before, day of and day after. What did you take away from that experience?
Thursday, September 6, 2007
A cup of tea with a friend...
If I was able to have a cup of tea with a friend, this is what I'd say:
I think it's a two pot kind of day! I'd ask about them and then I'd plow on...
This week has been ever so odd. Tuesday morning I took Aaron to school but there wasn't school that day for him. Yesterday he stayed home for some dental work and I forgot to call the attendance line before school started at 8am. I remembered at 9:20am and when I called to tell them I forgot, I remembered that the school is supposed to notify you if your child doesn't make it to school so I asked the person who answered. She says, "We haven't gotten to that yet this morning because there's a meeting." Hmm. The teachers had an adminstrative day on Tuesday. So the calls home didn't happen because they were in a meeting. The implications of this are big.
Radiation is almost over. I notice over the weekend (I guess) that the areas that have been radiated are not exactly the same as when I started. I'm wondering,"Have they made some sort of mistake? I have no way to know if it's right or wrong." It's not like the radiation sunburn shows up immediately. Yes, the techs line me up everyday with those tattoos and make sure I'm in the proper position. Yes, they take their time. Yes, it's all calibrated on a computer. When I asked the doctor on Tuesday, he said of course it's the right areas. I did go see him a second time Wednesday morning so that he could explain it to me. I'm not sure if I am satisfied with what he said. We did look at some x-rays and I am in the proper position. But me being in the proper position doesn't matter if they've put the wrong numbers in the machine. Or set up the template wrong in the machine. It's not like they can take it back. What am I going to do? I don't know right now.
We also got an insurance statement from the new insurance. It's not what we expected nor is it what we were led to believe the charges would be. Unfortunately, there's always some insurance problem when you have medical needs.
Aaron's teeth. 5 cavities, remember? I never got to talk with the dentist when we were there in July. I never got to see the x-rays. In fact, the temporary hygenist came into the waiting room, in front of other people and explained it to me. Not good, but I knew I'd talk to the dentist and see x-rays before anything was done. The hygenist reviews the x-rays. I wanted to see the January ones and the July ones to compare. The areas they labelled as cavities, didn't look like anything. One area did, but the second looked the same as other teeth that were not labelled as cavities. We didn't even get to #3 & #4. And the fifth I can see in his mouth. Before I even got to talk to the dentist, she's telling me she'll print the films and let me go get a second opinion. (She also said less than 15 minutes into our appointment-by this time it's 10:34am- that she didn't even know if we'd have time to do anyting. Yet they put us in the room at 10:22am for a 10:00am appointment.) I didn't want to get a second opinion. I hadn't even talked to the dentist for the first opinion. If the work needs to be done, it needs to be done. I wanted the dentist to explain it to me and to talk to me. The procedure wasn't even fully explained because she talked about putting Aaron to sleep.. That was never mentioned. Only a relaxant was mentioned. What we ended up doing was to take a second set of x-rays. The dentist gave Aaron a calcium paste to use at night that may help strengthen his teeth and reverse the beginning cavities. I wish they'd have given us the paste in July...
And today I realized we missed Aaron's back to school open house last night. I get an "F" for calendar reading this week. Of course, you need to actually read the calendar for it to be of any use.
Hopefully, I didn't ramble too much. Odd, odd stuff. Eventually it all works itself out. Before I would leave the tea house, I'd give my friend a big hug and say, "I love you, Meredith!"
I think it's a two pot kind of day! I'd ask about them and then I'd plow on...
This week has been ever so odd. Tuesday morning I took Aaron to school but there wasn't school that day for him. Yesterday he stayed home for some dental work and I forgot to call the attendance line before school started at 8am. I remembered at 9:20am and when I called to tell them I forgot, I remembered that the school is supposed to notify you if your child doesn't make it to school so I asked the person who answered. She says, "We haven't gotten to that yet this morning because there's a meeting." Hmm. The teachers had an adminstrative day on Tuesday. So the calls home didn't happen because they were in a meeting. The implications of this are big.
Radiation is almost over. I notice over the weekend (I guess) that the areas that have been radiated are not exactly the same as when I started. I'm wondering,"Have they made some sort of mistake? I have no way to know if it's right or wrong." It's not like the radiation sunburn shows up immediately. Yes, the techs line me up everyday with those tattoos and make sure I'm in the proper position. Yes, they take their time. Yes, it's all calibrated on a computer. When I asked the doctor on Tuesday, he said of course it's the right areas. I did go see him a second time Wednesday morning so that he could explain it to me. I'm not sure if I am satisfied with what he said. We did look at some x-rays and I am in the proper position. But me being in the proper position doesn't matter if they've put the wrong numbers in the machine. Or set up the template wrong in the machine. It's not like they can take it back. What am I going to do? I don't know right now.
We also got an insurance statement from the new insurance. It's not what we expected nor is it what we were led to believe the charges would be. Unfortunately, there's always some insurance problem when you have medical needs.
Aaron's teeth. 5 cavities, remember? I never got to talk with the dentist when we were there in July. I never got to see the x-rays. In fact, the temporary hygenist came into the waiting room, in front of other people and explained it to me. Not good, but I knew I'd talk to the dentist and see x-rays before anything was done. The hygenist reviews the x-rays. I wanted to see the January ones and the July ones to compare. The areas they labelled as cavities, didn't look like anything. One area did, but the second looked the same as other teeth that were not labelled as cavities. We didn't even get to #3 & #4. And the fifth I can see in his mouth. Before I even got to talk to the dentist, she's telling me she'll print the films and let me go get a second opinion. (She also said less than 15 minutes into our appointment-by this time it's 10:34am- that she didn't even know if we'd have time to do anyting. Yet they put us in the room at 10:22am for a 10:00am appointment.) I didn't want to get a second opinion. I hadn't even talked to the dentist for the first opinion. If the work needs to be done, it needs to be done. I wanted the dentist to explain it to me and to talk to me. The procedure wasn't even fully explained because she talked about putting Aaron to sleep.. That was never mentioned. Only a relaxant was mentioned. What we ended up doing was to take a second set of x-rays. The dentist gave Aaron a calcium paste to use at night that may help strengthen his teeth and reverse the beginning cavities. I wish they'd have given us the paste in July...
And today I realized we missed Aaron's back to school open house last night. I get an "F" for calendar reading this week. Of course, you need to actually read the calendar for it to be of any use.
Hopefully, I didn't ramble too much. Odd, odd stuff. Eventually it all works itself out. Before I would leave the tea house, I'd give my friend a big hug and say, "I love you, Meredith!"
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Tuesday, Sept. 4
Today I drove Aaron to school but there wasn't school for him today. Who has a day off from school when they just started two weeks ago? Aaron, I guess. We came home and printed up a "No School Calendar." For the major breaks, the boys have the same days off. But for "non-contact conferences," they have different days off. That'll be interesting. Hopefully we'll remember to check the calendar often.
At church on Sunday I had an obstructed view. Obstructed view? I never thought I'd go to church and not be able to see the pastor. In a church that could hold 1,000 easy, I suppose there's bound to be obstructed views. I'll pay more attention to where I sit the next time. Pastor John is speaking from the book of Colossians. He took a little detour in Jeremiah and Joshua. But if you'd like to hear some good messages go to: http://www.gracechapel.org/resources/resourcessermons.htm If you aren't able to play them, let me know, I'll get you a CD or tape of it.
Let's talk about hair. It's growing back. I only had a completely bald head around July 22 when I shaved the rest of it off. Then I had stubble again pretty quickly. About two weeks ago, my eye brows and eye lashes started falling out. I thought all that hair loss was over. Ahh-not so. So now my brows and lashes are tiny 3 mm things. They are actually growing quicker than I thought they would. I don't need an eye brow pencil anymore. I'll be glad when I don't need so much make-up.
Have a blessed week. nancy
At church on Sunday I had an obstructed view. Obstructed view? I never thought I'd go to church and not be able to see the pastor. In a church that could hold 1,000 easy, I suppose there's bound to be obstructed views. I'll pay more attention to where I sit the next time. Pastor John is speaking from the book of Colossians. He took a little detour in Jeremiah and Joshua. But if you'd like to hear some good messages go to: http://www.gracechapel.org/resources/resourcessermons.htm If you aren't able to play them, let me know, I'll get you a CD or tape of it.
Let's talk about hair. It's growing back. I only had a completely bald head around July 22 when I shaved the rest of it off. Then I had stubble again pretty quickly. About two weeks ago, my eye brows and eye lashes started falling out. I thought all that hair loss was over. Ahh-not so. So now my brows and lashes are tiny 3 mm things. They are actually growing quicker than I thought they would. I don't need an eye brow pencil anymore. I'll be glad when I don't need so much make-up.
Have a blessed week. nancy
Monday, September 3, 2007
Birthday Pictures
Cake is the best! River and Hailey had a great time at their party. What a joy they are!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
6 left!
I am so glad school has started. Although I love summer, I am tired of being a referee. We didn't have a nice, active summer that kept the boys so busy they never had a moment to fuss at each other. Sounds idyllic. In fact, we've never had just such a summer. Maybe some day...
The recliner for radiation would be a huge improvement. I'll recommend it! But it has to be able to raise up, move left to right, etc. That huge radiation machine (I'm sure it has a very complicated name but I don't know it) sounds like it needs some WD-40. It's a bit unnerving as I lie under it and it's squeaking. Good news is that I have 6 more to go!
We are off to go ride a trolly and see a reptile petting zoo. I know-reptile petting zoo? I won't be petting anything today. Nate on the other hand--he'll touch them all!
The recliner for radiation would be a huge improvement. I'll recommend it! But it has to be able to raise up, move left to right, etc. That huge radiation machine (I'm sure it has a very complicated name but I don't know it) sounds like it needs some WD-40. It's a bit unnerving as I lie under it and it's squeaking. Good news is that I have 6 more to go!
We are off to go ride a trolly and see a reptile petting zoo. I know-reptile petting zoo? I won't be petting anything today. Nate on the other hand--he'll touch them all!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Aug. 30
Last day of August. I do get Monday off. I have 7 left--2 like I've had all along and then 5 as a "boost" to the scar. The scar isn't so bad if you're wondering. The skin is healing that was bothering me on Monday.
Did you ever think you'd be blogging? Just think how many of you have expanded your computer knowledge by posting on a blog! That goes for me, too!
The twins turned 2 on Aug. 17. I'll put some pics up of them so you can see. Carol and I talked about the day she called me two years ago to tell me that Juli was in labor. I was unloading groceries and just kept saying over and over, "it's too early." And then I started to pray. I called Barbara and asked her to send an e-mail to our Friday morning bible study group. And I prayed some more. I called my mom in Ohio and Dad also. Prayers went out all over. Our realtor here in CO, Mary, also prayed. (I found this out as we were looking at houses.) Mary and I talked about all the prayers that these two beautiful babies received. And now at two, you wouldn't know that they were born 10 1/2 weeks early. In fact, their pediatrician moved them to "normal" status, not premie, when they were 1 year old. I thank God for Hailey and River and that they are so healthy. They are amazing.
I've had a few questions about what comes next. I'll see the oncologist in October and then every three months for three years. I'll be taking a medication for five years. I think I'll start that in October. I imagine there will be some sort of scan to make sure there's no cancer left. I won't get a mammogram on my radiated side for 6 months after treatment. And the other side will be on the annual schedule (sometime in February.) I will also see the surgeon again. I don't know how long I will see her. I'm sure I'll be seeing the radiologist for a while.
That's all for now--nancy
Did you ever think you'd be blogging? Just think how many of you have expanded your computer knowledge by posting on a blog! That goes for me, too!
The twins turned 2 on Aug. 17. I'll put some pics up of them so you can see. Carol and I talked about the day she called me two years ago to tell me that Juli was in labor. I was unloading groceries and just kept saying over and over, "it's too early." And then I started to pray. I called Barbara and asked her to send an e-mail to our Friday morning bible study group. And I prayed some more. I called my mom in Ohio and Dad also. Prayers went out all over. Our realtor here in CO, Mary, also prayed. (I found this out as we were looking at houses.) Mary and I talked about all the prayers that these two beautiful babies received. And now at two, you wouldn't know that they were born 10 1/2 weeks early. In fact, their pediatrician moved them to "normal" status, not premie, when they were 1 year old. I thank God for Hailey and River and that they are so healthy. They are amazing.
I've had a few questions about what comes next. I'll see the oncologist in October and then every three months for three years. I'll be taking a medication for five years. I think I'll start that in October. I imagine there will be some sort of scan to make sure there's no cancer left. I won't get a mammogram on my radiated side for 6 months after treatment. And the other side will be on the annual schedule (sometime in February.) I will also see the surgeon again. I don't know how long I will see her. I'm sure I'll be seeing the radiologist for a while.
That's all for now--nancy
Monday, August 27, 2007
Aug. 27; #2
OK. I meet with the nurse and doctor (radiation oncologist) every Monday. My doc is on an Alaska cruise with his family. So I saw the other guy today. That's not what's important. What's important is that when I told the nurse I was nauseous today and several other days last week, she asked, "Are you pregnant?" First I laughed. Then I laughed some more because I was fixed when Aaron was born. I told her I'd need some divine intervention if I was going to get pregnant.
I also got some gel pads for my underarm from the nurse. It was hurting in the night. Those pads are great. My underarm feels so much better.
Not really sure why the nausea. But I ate fine for dinner. More later--much more later...
I also got some gel pads for my underarm from the nurse. It was hurting in the night. Those pads are great. My underarm feels so much better.
Not really sure why the nausea. But I ate fine for dinner. More later--much more later...
Monday, Aug. 27
That last post said it was posted last Wednesday. I did it Friday. Regardless, I have ten total treatments: 5 like the ones I've been getting and 5 focused only on the scar. Cancer can come back in the scar. Tricky stuff, it is. Remember me telling you how cold it is in the treatment room? I found the thermostat--it was 67 degrees in there! No wonder when I'm lying on a metal table with only a sheet on it, I get cold. Especially when it's 97 degrees outside.
So I should post more often. If you want posts, I can post. They might become a little mundane. So you're warned.
We got the bedroom furniture Saturday. I feel like I'm walking around in a hotel room. It all matches. That's so exciting! Although when the towel or dirty clothes are in the same place as before I left, I wonder why the maid hasn't cleaned up. And she's not too good at making the bed either.
So I should post more often. If you want posts, I can post. They might become a little mundane. So you're warned.
We got the bedroom furniture Saturday. I feel like I'm walking around in a hotel room. It all matches. That's so exciting! Although when the towel or dirty clothes are in the same place as before I left, I wonder why the maid hasn't cleaned up. And she's not too good at making the bed either.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Today's will be 22 done, 11 to go
I'm doing well. Some skin redness but I have gel to use. The nurse calls it "tanning." Not so tan looking to me. And who wants a tan in their armpit anyway? My skin is in tact-not raw or any sores, etc. That's good. They said I might get tired more easily. I'm noticing some of that. But with school starting this week, who knows what is causing it.
First week of school going well. There's no homework so the boys are glad. Driving Aaron isn't so bad. It takes about 20-25 minutes. Nate walks or rides his bike.
We went to buy some book cases for under $30. And ended up getting our bedroom set as well. Jay and I will now have a matching set. Even when we sort of had a matching set, the bed wasn't the same. Not sure why that's important, but it will look nice.
I read an article this week that said that 25% of the women diagnosed with breast cancer have children at home. So imagine your day to day routine and all the stuff you do with the kids, plus breast cancer. Some days I wonder how I do get it all done. Ahh-well, I don't actually. Certain things get left. Like laundry that's upstairs or the kitchen floor that needs mopped. I figure it'll be there later. There's no rush. Things are not out of control at our house. (I don't think so, but maybe Jay ought to comment...) I know if I needed help, I'd call someone. I have had many offers so don't fret that you can't be the one to help me. I'm not talking to anyone in particular, just everyone who doesn't live in CO.
We got a new garage door opener. Those home warranties do work. We just paid for a service call and he installed a new one. Not quite that simple but for me it was. The dealer called the warranty place and set it up. The phone wasn't working this week. They had to come twice. On Tuesday by the time he came, it fixed itself. Yesterday a different guy found a short in one of the cables.
For those of you reading and not posting, let me know by e-mail. I'm getting to the point where I feel like I'm just writing to a black hole. Now I have heard from one of you that you want me to continue. As long as I have something to say, I will. Oh stop choking. Of course I always have something to say...
First week of school going well. There's no homework so the boys are glad. Driving Aaron isn't so bad. It takes about 20-25 minutes. Nate walks or rides his bike.
We went to buy some book cases for under $30. And ended up getting our bedroom set as well. Jay and I will now have a matching set. Even when we sort of had a matching set, the bed wasn't the same. Not sure why that's important, but it will look nice.
I read an article this week that said that 25% of the women diagnosed with breast cancer have children at home. So imagine your day to day routine and all the stuff you do with the kids, plus breast cancer. Some days I wonder how I do get it all done. Ahh-well, I don't actually. Certain things get left. Like laundry that's upstairs or the kitchen floor that needs mopped. I figure it'll be there later. There's no rush. Things are not out of control at our house. (I don't think so, but maybe Jay ought to comment...) I know if I needed help, I'd call someone. I have had many offers so don't fret that you can't be the one to help me. I'm not talking to anyone in particular, just everyone who doesn't live in CO.
We got a new garage door opener. Those home warranties do work. We just paid for a service call and he installed a new one. Not quite that simple but for me it was. The dealer called the warranty place and set it up. The phone wasn't working this week. They had to come twice. On Tuesday by the time he came, it fixed itself. Yesterday a different guy found a short in one of the cables.
For those of you reading and not posting, let me know by e-mail. I'm getting to the point where I feel like I'm just writing to a black hole. Now I have heard from one of you that you want me to continue. As long as I have something to say, I will. Oh stop choking. Of course I always have something to say...
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Never a dull moment...
What should I tell you first? Nate's bike was stolen out of our garage yesterday. We're not in Bolton (Massachusetts) anymore, Toto! Although even there, my neighbor's house was broken into just before we moved to CO. So we called the police and made a report. The kid who took Nate's bike left his old broken one on the sidewalk. Pure opportunity. We're pretty sure it was a kid because the bike is a 20". I'll be looking at school bike racks. We have an investigator assigned to the case. I don't expect anything to come of it. We don't even know the serial number.
This morning I took Taurus for a walk. Not unusual. We go different ways just to keep it interesting. Today I walked around the school. Well, we get around back and Taurus needs to mark at a few posts. He's marking and an alarm goes off. Great. I'm expecting police, fire and an ambulance to come rushing the school. I walked around to the front and the custodian was in the office shutting the alarm off. I waved and he didn't come out. So we finished our walk and decided we won't be walking around the school anymore.
Today will be treatment #15. Not quite halfway. I have 33 treatments total and 18 to go. The doctor gave me some gel for a spot of redness I have. I told him I love lotions and potions. Not really these of course. But he and the nurse laughed. It's a small thing, I'm easily amused.
This morning I took Taurus for a walk. Not unusual. We go different ways just to keep it interesting. Today I walked around the school. Well, we get around back and Taurus needs to mark at a few posts. He's marking and an alarm goes off. Great. I'm expecting police, fire and an ambulance to come rushing the school. I walked around to the front and the custodian was in the office shutting the alarm off. I waved and he didn't come out. So we finished our walk and decided we won't be walking around the school anymore.
Today will be treatment #15. Not quite halfway. I have 33 treatments total and 18 to go. The doctor gave me some gel for a spot of redness I have. I told him I love lotions and potions. Not really these of course. But he and the nurse laughed. It's a small thing, I'm easily amused.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
12 done, 21 to go
Hooray for you gals who have gotten your mammograms or who have scheduled them! It's been a busy week. I know it's a scary prospect but necessary. Putting it off doesn't change the need.
Last Saturday we went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo which is south of Colorado Springs. The best part of the zoo is feeding the giraffes. The raised walkway puts you eye to eye with them. They have long, twirly, black tongues. Here's the live giraffe cam: http://www.cmzoo.org/zoocam.html
We also found a movie theater where you can eat lunch or dinner there and watch a movie. We saw Surf's Up. It was pretty good. Someday I'll be able to watch movies other than kids movies.
We also went to a hot springs pool. It's about an hour from us. We just swam in the large pool. They have lots of other options but not whith the boys. I'm not paying for them to get a mud wrap when they get into all kinds of dirt in other places.
For now, life is moving along normally. This week is the last before the boys go to school. We have two open houses to go to Thursday since they will be in different schools. Unless of course Nate does get into Challenge school. That's my prayer.
That's all for now-nancy
Last Saturday we went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo which is south of Colorado Springs. The best part of the zoo is feeding the giraffes. The raised walkway puts you eye to eye with them. They have long, twirly, black tongues. Here's the live giraffe cam: http://www.cmzoo.org/zoocam.html
We also found a movie theater where you can eat lunch or dinner there and watch a movie. We saw Surf's Up. It was pretty good. Someday I'll be able to watch movies other than kids movies.
We also went to a hot springs pool. It's about an hour from us. We just swam in the large pool. They have lots of other options but not whith the boys. I'm not paying for them to get a mud wrap when they get into all kinds of dirt in other places.
For now, life is moving along normally. This week is the last before the boys go to school. We have two open houses to go to Thursday since they will be in different schools. Unless of course Nate does get into Challenge school. That's my prayer.
That's all for now-nancy
Friday, August 3, 2007
7 down 26 more yards to go...
Oh wait, this isn't a football game. But it's going. I'm not sure I'll feel OK about going daily a few weeks from now.
The boys start school Aug. 20. I'm keeping track. We're all ready for a new schedule.
Just a few comments about the cards we're dealt. We all get a deck of cards when we're born. Some we like playing. Like the Band card. Some play the Choir card. There's the College card. The Boyfriend/Girlfriend card. The Marriage card. The Children card. The New Car card. The House card. The I-phone card. Some have to deal with these cards: Divorce (parent's or yours), Abuse, Neglect, Heart Attack, Cancer, Mental Illness. We don't expect we'll even need to pull these from the deck. But the deck does come complete with a whole slew of other cards. Some so horrible we can't even imagine. Back to the Cancer card. I've actually been forced to play it. That's when someone pushes until you blurt out that you have breast cancer. While that wasn't so bad, the bad part was that the person never even asked me again about it. I'm afraid I'll have to do more with this person. Not exactly afraid, but there must be more to it. And maybe not but I feel as though the blurting wasn't the end of it.
Then there's the people who stare because I have a little cap on and no hair. Or the ones who look just a bit too long. At first I was convinced that they were sure I had cancer. Now it seems that people are either just rude or they really aren't sure if I don't have hair. I can almost see the wheels turning. I haven't figured out what my response ought to be. Maybe hand them a card with my story and blog info? Maybe tell them I don't have hair? One suggestion I got was to say that I was in a rock band and do you like my hair? I'm so not rock band material. Anyway, wearing hair in 100 degree weather just isn't reasonable. My head sweats. I don't remember it sweating so much when I did have hair. Of course it must have. I have found that 20-somethings don't care. I met a nice gal in Starbucks who just acted normal. And I thought I couldn't relate to them. Men don't have much of a problem either for the most part. It's the women my age who whack out. Those are the ones I should give a card to.
The boys start school Aug. 20. I'm keeping track. We're all ready for a new schedule.
Just a few comments about the cards we're dealt. We all get a deck of cards when we're born. Some we like playing. Like the Band card. Some play the Choir card. There's the College card. The Boyfriend/Girlfriend card. The Marriage card. The Children card. The New Car card. The House card. The I-phone card. Some have to deal with these cards: Divorce (parent's or yours), Abuse, Neglect, Heart Attack, Cancer, Mental Illness. We don't expect we'll even need to pull these from the deck. But the deck does come complete with a whole slew of other cards. Some so horrible we can't even imagine. Back to the Cancer card. I've actually been forced to play it. That's when someone pushes until you blurt out that you have breast cancer. While that wasn't so bad, the bad part was that the person never even asked me again about it. I'm afraid I'll have to do more with this person. Not exactly afraid, but there must be more to it. And maybe not but I feel as though the blurting wasn't the end of it.
Then there's the people who stare because I have a little cap on and no hair. Or the ones who look just a bit too long. At first I was convinced that they were sure I had cancer. Now it seems that people are either just rude or they really aren't sure if I don't have hair. I can almost see the wheels turning. I haven't figured out what my response ought to be. Maybe hand them a card with my story and blog info? Maybe tell them I don't have hair? One suggestion I got was to say that I was in a rock band and do you like my hair? I'm so not rock band material. Anyway, wearing hair in 100 degree weather just isn't reasonable. My head sweats. I don't remember it sweating so much when I did have hair. Of course it must have. I have found that 20-somethings don't care. I met a nice gal in Starbucks who just acted normal. And I thought I couldn't relate to them. Men don't have much of a problem either for the most part. It's the women my age who whack out. Those are the ones I should give a card to.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
More (than you ever wanted to know) on Radiation
I will go daily, Monday through Friday, minus weekends and holidays for 31 more radiation sessions. I can get there and home in about an hour. Actually, Don is driving me. I can drive myself but it's nice to have a chauffeur. It's a 12:45 pm appointment. There was less traffic at that time than the 11 am appointment I had the day before.
Do they cover other parts of my body with lead aprons during my radiation? No. It's a very localized treatment. The radiation therapist said there isn't "scatter" like in other kinds of x-rays (dental, etc.) She also said it was a high power something or other kind of machine.
Along with skin changes (sunburn-like rash, dryness, itching) that start to occur at about weeks 2 to 3 with dryness possibly lingering 3 months after treatment, there are several long term side effects like brittle ribs and a couple of others that may affect 5 out of 10,000 people. It will not affect my heart or lungs. They re-measure the treatment area every 5 treatments. I don't feel or see anything during a treatment. One last thing: the room is cold because of the equipment. And there I am lying on a narrow, sliding, metal table, practically naked. The table moves as the eqipment moves around me. It's not like an MRI or PET/CT scan equipment. I don't go into a tube. Here's a picture and more info: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/radiation-therapy-and-you/page3 That's the huge machine that moves around me.
There was more to tell. I'm glad I checked my notes. Oh, and did you make that mammogram appointment? For those of you who are keeping up with them, good for you! For those of you who are avoiding it--don't! I am glad that you're working on it Lori! Love you! nancy
Do they cover other parts of my body with lead aprons during my radiation? No. It's a very localized treatment. The radiation therapist said there isn't "scatter" like in other kinds of x-rays (dental, etc.) She also said it was a high power something or other kind of machine.
Along with skin changes (sunburn-like rash, dryness, itching) that start to occur at about weeks 2 to 3 with dryness possibly lingering 3 months after treatment, there are several long term side effects like brittle ribs and a couple of others that may affect 5 out of 10,000 people. It will not affect my heart or lungs. They re-measure the treatment area every 5 treatments. I don't feel or see anything during a treatment. One last thing: the room is cold because of the equipment. And there I am lying on a narrow, sliding, metal table, practically naked. The table moves as the eqipment moves around me. It's not like an MRI or PET/CT scan equipment. I don't go into a tube. Here's a picture and more info: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/radiation-therapy-and-you/page3 That's the huge machine that moves around me.
There was more to tell. I'm glad I checked my notes. Oh, and did you make that mammogram appointment? For those of you who are keeping up with them, good for you! For those of you who are avoiding it--don't! I am glad that you're working on it Lori! Love you! nancy
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Radiation
I had the first of 33 treatments. Not much to tell. It is a larger area than they mapped out in the tattoo session. It's like getting two long x-rays. Then I'm done.
See you later-
See you later-
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Wednesday; July 25
Here's a little soap boxing: Did you (or your girlfriends or your wives) get a mammogram yet? Get it done! It is scary when you don't know what you might find. However, if something is there, it's better to find it sooner than later. Breast cancer is very treatable.
Got the port out last Wednesday. It didn't bruise as much as when it was put in. It was still unpleasant. I don't like lidocaine. It stings and burns going in. Then the doc didn't put enough in so when he was stitching up the incision, I could feel about half of it. It's over.
I'll see my oncologist now in three months. I'll see him every three months for three years. That's alot of appointments. I see the surgeon every three months, too. I'm not sure for how long.
I went to Ohio for a high school friend's wedding reception. Karen and Chip were married July 6 in the mountains. They live in Virginia. Karen's family is in Ohio and all of us high school friends have family there or live there. It was so great to see everyone. How blessed we are to have these friends!
Got the port out last Wednesday. It didn't bruise as much as when it was put in. It was still unpleasant. I don't like lidocaine. It stings and burns going in. Then the doc didn't put enough in so when he was stitching up the incision, I could feel about half of it. It's over.
I'll see my oncologist now in three months. I'll see him every three months for three years. That's alot of appointments. I see the surgeon every three months, too. I'm not sure for how long.
I went to Ohio for a high school friend's wedding reception. Karen and Chip were married July 6 in the mountains. They live in Virginia. Karen's family is in Ohio and all of us high school friends have family there or live there. It was so great to see everyone. How blessed we are to have these friends!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Tattoos are done
I now have three blue dots to add to my freckles. It was quick and not so prickly with the needle. But how do people stand to get the real tattoos? Do you drink alot before you go? I'll start radiation by the end of the month. I have to go for a simulation next Thursday. Then they will set the schedule. I'll have more to tell you then.
Tomorrow, oncologist & arm port removal.
Tomorrow, oncologist & arm port removal.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Monday; July 9
Last week, Monday and Tuesday were just teasers. I felt blah the rest of the week. That's not how it went the other times. Usually I would feel blah the first 5 or so days after chemo. Anyway, I got impatient because I was hoping to just feel good and not bad. Better over the weekend and today. Although I did have blood drawn today and one of the numbers was low. That's why I'm not feeling as good. And "blah" is an official term. This is the low point in the chemo timeline and I should be feeling better soon.
Is there any conversation you'd like to start? Any discussions you'd like to have? I could give you an update on the hives. They are mostly gone. Except when my skin is dry, I scratch itchy spots and they come back. About those hairs left on my head: a friend suggested I wax them. Uh, no. But I might shave them with a razor and shaving cream.
It looks like I'll start radiation July 25. I'll find out next Tuesday for sure. I called to find out if I'd start in July. Our health insurance changes Aug. 1. As long as I've started treatment, the new insurance will allow me to keep this doctor and pay it as in-network even if this doctor is in their out-of-network list. I'm already established with this doctor but I wanted to make sure. I found out the insurance is changing the same day I found out I bounced two checks. I was only $19 overdrawn. The bank did pay them but still charged me. The clue I had was when my balance was less than the deposit I had made. Oh well. It's only money. To quote Jay.
Talk to you soon, nancy
Is there any conversation you'd like to start? Any discussions you'd like to have? I could give you an update on the hives. They are mostly gone. Except when my skin is dry, I scratch itchy spots and they come back. About those hairs left on my head: a friend suggested I wax them. Uh, no. But I might shave them with a razor and shaving cream.
It looks like I'll start radiation July 25. I'll find out next Tuesday for sure. I called to find out if I'd start in July. Our health insurance changes Aug. 1. As long as I've started treatment, the new insurance will allow me to keep this doctor and pay it as in-network even if this doctor is in their out-of-network list. I'm already established with this doctor but I wanted to make sure. I found out the insurance is changing the same day I found out I bounced two checks. I was only $19 overdrawn. The bank did pay them but still charged me. The clue I had was when my balance was less than the deposit I had made. Oh well. It's only money. To quote Jay.
Talk to you soon, nancy
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Tuesday; July 3
I don't want to say it too loudly, but the hives are gone. And I feel almost normal. I usually don't feel so good for another week. I'm not complaining!
So life is kind of normal. As normal as it gets for me. And I can't think of a thing to tell you! More later...
So life is kind of normal. As normal as it gets for me. And I can't think of a thing to tell you! More later...
Thursday, June 28, 2007
I graduated!
Day 4 done! The nurses came and sang to me: For she's a jolly good fellow... and gave me a rose. I got a little teary. Hadn't expected it. But I also remember April and thinking that June 28 would never get here.
We watched cooking shows today. Saw some good stuff and some not so good stuff. The thing they all do is taste the food to show just how good it is but sometimes the cooks aren't convincing. How can we believe it if we can't smell it? I got a few ideas. We'll try them soon.
The next few weeks will be filled with a couple of appointments. Bloodwork, oncologist, removal of the port, radiologist. I should get my schedule for the radiation. Something like 25 to 35 sessions, every day except weekends and holidays. This is the easy part. So they tell me.
Another thought, I was promised baldness. I still have little hairs hanging on. I suppose they might fall out with this treatment, but who knows. I want to have a nice, smooth head but I may not get it. Like Jean-Luc Picard on Star Trek. There's a small patch of hair around my crown, Nate calls it my "island." "Let me see the island." Weirdo.
Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers. They hold us up. Love ya!
We watched cooking shows today. Saw some good stuff and some not so good stuff. The thing they all do is taste the food to show just how good it is but sometimes the cooks aren't convincing. How can we believe it if we can't smell it? I got a few ideas. We'll try them soon.
The next few weeks will be filled with a couple of appointments. Bloodwork, oncologist, removal of the port, radiologist. I should get my schedule for the radiation. Something like 25 to 35 sessions, every day except weekends and holidays. This is the easy part. So they tell me.
Another thought, I was promised baldness. I still have little hairs hanging on. I suppose they might fall out with this treatment, but who knows. I want to have a nice, smooth head but I may not get it. Like Jean-Luc Picard on Star Trek. There's a small patch of hair around my crown, Nate calls it my "island." "Let me see the island." Weirdo.
Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers. They hold us up. Love ya!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Saturday; June 23
A brave soul posted under "Something Real." A little too real? Oh well. The hives are mostly gone. Mine also became stress induced. I yell at the boys and the hives pop out. Grr.
I did feel well enough on Thursday to cook and clean a little. Yesterday we went to the zoo for a few hours. I get a few days' reprieve before my LAST treatment on this Thursday. I still have my eyebrows and eye lashes. The nurse said maybe by the third or fourth treatment they might go. We'll see.
Gotta run--going to lunch!
I did feel well enough on Thursday to cook and clean a little. Yesterday we went to the zoo for a few hours. I get a few days' reprieve before my LAST treatment on this Thursday. I still have my eyebrows and eye lashes. The nurse said maybe by the third or fourth treatment they might go. We'll see.
Gotta run--going to lunch!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Pictures
I'll get this one out of the way first. You've been dying to see me in electric blue. It doesn't really work.
This is the SASSY one! Here's a story--I went to our local grocery the first time after we moved. The salesclerk, who was from Europe, looked at me when he handed me the receipt. He says with a European accent, "You gotyour hair cut." What could I say but, "Yes." Then he says, "You look like you could be from Europe." I said, "Oh--thanks." And had to walk fast out of the store because I was laughing. I know it's a cheap thrill, but I'll take them when I can.
This one seems to be closest to my old hair. Sorry it's fuzzy.
Something Real
So I've gone on about how surreal this whole thing is. Breast cancer, an oncologist, this port in my arm, radiation later... you've heard it already. Below is the real stuff and you may want to skip these details. Reader discretion advised.
Here's the real stuff: my taste buds die on my tongue for about a week following treatment. Doc asks if food tastes different. Not really, only coffee. That's a crime. It does end up feeling like I chewed chalk. Not like Tums, like white chalk from school. My intestines don't quite know what to do. That's real. Real slow or real fast. And how about the messed up monthlies. Doc told me I wouldn't have it and I seem to have it more. Hmm. I guess I got too excited about the prospect of nothing. I also have hives. Not from the treatments. I think it started from getting sunscreen in my eyes that hyped up my histamines that led to soap sensitivity. Washed hands with antibacterial soap and spread it all over. It went away and came back. I got a steroid from the doctor to deal. Benadryl wasn't working. That's all for now.
Here's the real stuff: my taste buds die on my tongue for about a week following treatment. Doc asks if food tastes different. Not really, only coffee. That's a crime. It does end up feeling like I chewed chalk. Not like Tums, like white chalk from school. My intestines don't quite know what to do. That's real. Real slow or real fast. And how about the messed up monthlies. Doc told me I wouldn't have it and I seem to have it more. Hmm. I guess I got too excited about the prospect of nothing. I also have hives. Not from the treatments. I think it started from getting sunscreen in my eyes that hyped up my histamines that led to soap sensitivity. Washed hands with antibacterial soap and spread it all over. It went away and came back. I got a steroid from the doctor to deal. Benadryl wasn't working. That's all for now.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Wednesday, June 13
Hello all--
I did do better this time. Drinking gallons of water daily helped me keep my faculties. I'm not sure exactly how much I drank but I never let my glass stay empty for long. The movie--we watched The Big Chill that night. One of my favorites. I didn't take the computer this time. Laverne and her friend, Rosemary, drove mom and I to my treatment. The nurse said we were having a party. It was nice to talk the day away.
Meredith visited from Boston. She and Jay took the boys to the aquarium. Mom and Meredith took the boys swimming. On Tuesday Aaron graduated from kindergarten. (Kindergarten graduation--such a concept.) We all went and learned that Aaron wants to be a lifeguard. Would you believe mom and Meredith actually made me unpack some of my clothes boxes? Of all the nerve...
From Nate: He received several certificates. One was a paper plate award which named Nate as the "Ace of Spades." This means that he was a high achiever this year. Some other paper plate awards were: the bookworm, the dreamer, bright star, inspector gadget, the three musketeers, He also received a Citizenship Certificate for being reliable all year. The last certificate was for Academic Achievement. Nathan is thrilled that school is over! We will be learning Spanish this summer. The teachers and the fifth graders played volleyball. The teachers won 20-3. Nate's favorite thing at the aquarium was that he got to pet stingrays. He also got splashed by stingrays when they swam fast towards him. There was a flash flood display where everyone got splashed from the rushing water.
I wanted to say thanks for all the other support we've received. Kathy has coordinated meals for us. We've had five meals, every other day starting each day of treatment. We have all enjoyed trying new dinners and the boys love the desserts. I don't do too much with desserts. We might have ice cream or cookies. We've had some great brownies, a chocolate eclaire custard dessert, cakes, pies, and cream puffs. All things that the boys want me to continue to make. I also want to thank Tina for requesting things for me like setting up gals to pack, going to appontments and watching the boys. Lastly, I'm certain my words are not enough to say thanks for all of the prayers. I thank God for you daily.
I did do better this time. Drinking gallons of water daily helped me keep my faculties. I'm not sure exactly how much I drank but I never let my glass stay empty for long. The movie--we watched The Big Chill that night. One of my favorites. I didn't take the computer this time. Laverne and her friend, Rosemary, drove mom and I to my treatment. The nurse said we were having a party. It was nice to talk the day away.
Meredith visited from Boston. She and Jay took the boys to the aquarium. Mom and Meredith took the boys swimming. On Tuesday Aaron graduated from kindergarten. (Kindergarten graduation--such a concept.) We all went and learned that Aaron wants to be a lifeguard. Would you believe mom and Meredith actually made me unpack some of my clothes boxes? Of all the nerve...
From Nate: He received several certificates. One was a paper plate award which named Nate as the "Ace of Spades." This means that he was a high achiever this year. Some other paper plate awards were: the bookworm, the dreamer, bright star, inspector gadget, the three musketeers, He also received a Citizenship Certificate for being reliable all year. The last certificate was for Academic Achievement. Nathan is thrilled that school is over! We will be learning Spanish this summer. The teachers and the fifth graders played volleyball. The teachers won 20-3. Nate's favorite thing at the aquarium was that he got to pet stingrays. He also got splashed by stingrays when they swam fast towards him. There was a flash flood display where everyone got splashed from the rushing water.
I wanted to say thanks for all the other support we've received. Kathy has coordinated meals for us. We've had five meals, every other day starting each day of treatment. We have all enjoyed trying new dinners and the boys love the desserts. I don't do too much with desserts. We might have ice cream or cookies. We've had some great brownies, a chocolate eclaire custard dessert, cakes, pies, and cream puffs. All things that the boys want me to continue to make. I also want to thank Tina for requesting things for me like setting up gals to pack, going to appontments and watching the boys. Lastly, I'm certain my words are not enough to say thanks for all of the prayers. I thank God for you daily.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Catching up
Ahhh--our internet is back. Still needed more phone calls to get it done. Crazy. But now I can look up some recipes. Jay wants a chocolate stout cake. That one's not in my cookbooks. It hasn't been bad to be in a townhouse. I liked that it was smaller. Until I wanted to send the boys to the basement that we didn't have. This house doesn't feel like "my" house yet. It will though.
Here's last week:
June 2, 2007 posted on June 5
Without internet for 5 days. It was supposed to be connected last night. Jay’s spent 8 hours (several different calls) with Qwest to get the problems ironed out. He thought it was taken care of on Tuesday but not so. Actually, they didn’t have the order for it today. The order that was requested at least three times. All service was to be completed on May 25: transfer phone and internet. Jay found out the seller hadn’t turned off their service which prevented our service from being turned on in the new house. No one could get in touch with them. Jay faxed our deed and other paperwork to Qwest on the 25th to prove our ownership. We did get the phone on Wednesday. And no internet on Friday. So he called today. The only thing that needs completed is a tech guy needs to re-route our service to this address. No one needs to come out here. It’s all to be done in their system remotely, electronically. And no one could do it today. Unbelievable. Not sure how many people Jay talked to today. It wasn’t pretty for two hours on our end. He wasn’t unreasonable, just frustrated that this simple thing couldn’t be done.
We don’t have phone books. Jay couldn’t look up Lenscrafters today. We couldn’t look up Dominoes either. I can’t blog. Same with maps. No Google Maps or Mapquest. I can’t look up recipes either. Jay looked up custard from a book at Walmart. A book! Such a dependence on the internet.
I was going to ask for help to clean the townhouse; however, it’s done. Mom and I went over to wash clothes on Wednesday. I cleaned the bathrooms. And Mom finished emptying the odds and ends left in the kitchen. We took that stuff to the new house. It was then time to go get the boys at school. I dropped Mom and Aaron off at the townhouse so Nate and I could go to an appointment. When we got back, Mom had vacuumed the whole townhouse. She was on the last room. Nate went right up and scared her. Why that’s so funny as I think about it I don’t know. Aaron had also mopped the kitchen. He calls it “weird mopping.” He dances and spins in circles and does mouth music. And somehow the floor gets clean. Thursday we went back for the clothes that were left to dry and finished the kitchen. And that’s that.
Friday was a do-mostly-nothing day. We decided to quit after Mom dropped a globe on her toe. That was the end of our organizing. So we watched a funny Tyler Perry video—a Madea video: I Can Do Bad All By Myself. Aaron started baseball last night. He’s in the first & second grade level. He will have some games at 8:15pm and 8:30 pm. Some days that’s my bedtime and way past Aaron’s.
Here's last week:
June 2, 2007 posted on June 5
Without internet for 5 days. It was supposed to be connected last night. Jay’s spent 8 hours (several different calls) with Qwest to get the problems ironed out. He thought it was taken care of on Tuesday but not so. Actually, they didn’t have the order for it today. The order that was requested at least three times. All service was to be completed on May 25: transfer phone and internet. Jay found out the seller hadn’t turned off their service which prevented our service from being turned on in the new house. No one could get in touch with them. Jay faxed our deed and other paperwork to Qwest on the 25th to prove our ownership. We did get the phone on Wednesday. And no internet on Friday. So he called today. The only thing that needs completed is a tech guy needs to re-route our service to this address. No one needs to come out here. It’s all to be done in their system remotely, electronically. And no one could do it today. Unbelievable. Not sure how many people Jay talked to today. It wasn’t pretty for two hours on our end. He wasn’t unreasonable, just frustrated that this simple thing couldn’t be done.
We don’t have phone books. Jay couldn’t look up Lenscrafters today. We couldn’t look up Dominoes either. I can’t blog. Same with maps. No Google Maps or Mapquest. I can’t look up recipes either. Jay looked up custard from a book at Walmart. A book! Such a dependence on the internet.
I was going to ask for help to clean the townhouse; however, it’s done. Mom and I went over to wash clothes on Wednesday. I cleaned the bathrooms. And Mom finished emptying the odds and ends left in the kitchen. We took that stuff to the new house. It was then time to go get the boys at school. I dropped Mom and Aaron off at the townhouse so Nate and I could go to an appointment. When we got back, Mom had vacuumed the whole townhouse. She was on the last room. Nate went right up and scared her. Why that’s so funny as I think about it I don’t know. Aaron had also mopped the kitchen. He calls it “weird mopping.” He dances and spins in circles and does mouth music. And somehow the floor gets clean. Thursday we went back for the clothes that were left to dry and finished the kitchen. And that’s that.
Friday was a do-mostly-nothing day. We decided to quit after Mom dropped a globe on her toe. That was the end of our organizing. So we watched a funny Tyler Perry video—a Madea video: I Can Do Bad All By Myself. Aaron started baseball last night. He’s in the first & second grade level. He will have some games at 8:15pm and 8:30 pm. Some days that’s my bedtime and way past Aaron’s.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
We're in
We're in the new house. My brain came back. It must have been packed. The boys are wired. The dog is wired. We are all exhausted. We're so exhausted Jay just suggested a new kind of store: a grocery consignment store. Can you just picture it? or better yet, smell it?
Our phone is the same. I'll send the address by mail. I won't be back on-line until Friday or Saturday. I'm using the seller's access because they didn't disconnect. (We got permission from the phone company.) It's not for Jay's lack of trying. He's spent hours on the phone trying to get our phone transferred.
Next weekend we'll post some pictures. Love ya! nancy
Our phone is the same. I'll send the address by mail. I won't be back on-line until Friday or Saturday. I'm using the seller's access because they didn't disconnect. (We got permission from the phone company.) It's not for Jay's lack of trying. He's spent hours on the phone trying to get our phone transferred.
Next weekend we'll post some pictures. Love ya! nancy
Thursday, May 24, 2007
The rest of the week
The house is getting packed. We've had lots of help. And Monday is moving day. There's highlights for you. (Nothing more going on today other than taking Taurus out to do his duty.)
This time around I have what's officially called "chemo-brain." It's hard to describe. I was warned that it may happen-not by the doctor but by Stacy, Nate's teacher. I've been more out of it. I forgot the directions to a store. I had/have trouble processing what people were telling me. They'd be talking and I'd still be on the first part of the first sentence. It does seem to be passing. The doc said that if I got more rest it should be better, that it was related to tiredness. It seems more than tiredness.
Tuesday we got the carpets cleaned at the new house. I watched those Alfred Hitchcock movies I was going to watch during a treatment. Well, they were the worst. I couldn't even follow them. (Another chemo-brain thing.) I thought a good mystery could occupy me. The only way I knew what was going on was because I read the blurb on the box. They were the only ones we had to watch for three hours while the carpets were done.
Yesterday I had to go see the doc. I thought I had thrush. Remember? It's what babies get. I can get it because my immune system is depressed. I got a culture so we'll se if it really is or not. Or it could just be a change in my mouth from the chemo. Side effects...
On the way home, we found a great meat market/deli called Fred's Meats and a fruit & vegetable store. It's on Holly between Parker Rd. and First for those of you in town. We bought a couple salads, dips and cheese. There was fresh bread. We also got to sample some salads. Which I'm sure made us buy them.
I'll be putting more pics on in a few days. Here's something to tickle your funny bone--I was rubbing my mostly bald head without my hat on and Nate says, "You look like a motorcycle rider without hair. You should have tattoos to go along with your bike." Again with the tattoos! And what bike exactly?
This time around I have what's officially called "chemo-brain." It's hard to describe. I was warned that it may happen-not by the doctor but by Stacy, Nate's teacher. I've been more out of it. I forgot the directions to a store. I had/have trouble processing what people were telling me. They'd be talking and I'd still be on the first part of the first sentence. It does seem to be passing. The doc said that if I got more rest it should be better, that it was related to tiredness. It seems more than tiredness.
Tuesday we got the carpets cleaned at the new house. I watched those Alfred Hitchcock movies I was going to watch during a treatment. Well, they were the worst. I couldn't even follow them. (Another chemo-brain thing.) I thought a good mystery could occupy me. The only way I knew what was going on was because I read the blurb on the box. They were the only ones we had to watch for three hours while the carpets were done.
Yesterday I had to go see the doc. I thought I had thrush. Remember? It's what babies get. I can get it because my immune system is depressed. I got a culture so we'll se if it really is or not. Or it could just be a change in my mouth from the chemo. Side effects...
On the way home, we found a great meat market/deli called Fred's Meats and a fruit & vegetable store. It's on Holly between Parker Rd. and First for those of you in town. We bought a couple salads, dips and cheese. There was fresh bread. We also got to sample some salads. Which I'm sure made us buy them.
I'll be putting more pics on in a few days. Here's something to tickle your funny bone--I was rubbing my mostly bald head without my hat on and Nate says, "You look like a motorcycle rider without hair. You should have tattoos to go along with your bike." Again with the tattoos! And what bike exactly?
Monday, May 21, 2007
Happy Monday Morning
I'm glad Monday's here. Feeling much better than over the weekend. Friday was fine. I felt so OK that we went shoe shopping. Saturday and Sunday I felt really druggy and achy. It'll pass and then there will be some other side-effect to deal with. Not complaining--just a strange series of sife-effects.
Jay took boxes over to the new house all weekend. Nathan and Aaron packed boxes. Mom was feeling better , too. I slept through most of the weekend. While I was awake, we went to look at some furniture for Nate. Jay and I would also like a matching bedroom set. Haven't had one in years.
Thanks for all the prayers and hugs. Let me know if you want more info about anything. Or If I've given too much info. love, nancy
Jay took boxes over to the new house all weekend. Nathan and Aaron packed boxes. Mom was feeling better , too. I slept through most of the weekend. While I was awake, we went to look at some furniture for Nate. Jay and I would also like a matching bedroom set. Haven't had one in years.
Thanks for all the prayers and hugs. Let me know if you want more info about anything. Or If I've given too much info. love, nancy
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Day 2 done
I forgot to put the numbing cream on my port. The nurses put some on and also sprayed it. I forgot my co-pay. Luckily, my friend, Carolyn paid for me. It turns out that Mom came last Tuesday and promptly got sick. I took her to a clinic yesterday and she's all set with an antibiotic for a sinus infection. And Nathan was off all week with a virus. It's a bit ironic that the lady with cancer had to take care of two sickies all week. I was quite productive--I did laundry, mopped the kitchen floor, walked the dog. I sprayed lots of Lysol and washed hands a lot. The next two weeks my immune system will be suppressed and I have to be careful. More hand washing.
Otherwise, nothing to report. It went as smoothly as the first day. I've been able to eat tonight again. I'm so glad for these chemo drugs and these nausea meds that they all work. Some of the chemo meds are so potent that the nausea meds don't always work.
Halfway. Oh, I had the same private room. No movies because we talked the whole time. Talk to you soon, love, nancy
Otherwise, nothing to report. It went as smoothly as the first day. I've been able to eat tonight again. I'm so glad for these chemo drugs and these nausea meds that they all work. Some of the chemo meds are so potent that the nausea meds don't always work.
Halfway. Oh, I had the same private room. No movies because we talked the whole time. Talk to you soon, love, nancy
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
New house and hair dilemma revisited
Here's our new house as of 4 PM today. We'll be out of our rental by June 15. There is more than enough room for guests!! If you're in the Denver area, please come see us. Cheap rates...good friends & family, good conversation...that's all you'll owe.
I took my hair down to a zero. The #2 was poking me and quite uncomfortable. And it's coming out all over. Clogging up the tub drain, falling all over my neck and clothes. Nathan told me this morning, "Oh weird, you have an island on your head." Falling out in clumps, remember? It does look sort of like an island. I went on-line today to see if I could speed up the hair loss. The only thing I found was info on trying to stop the hair loss. All the angst over losing your hair--hair loss should be the least of anyone's worries. And then there's the wigs. I think that a man designed them because the inside is made out of the most scratchy material. In fact, panty hose might actually be more comfortable. Anyway, I hope that once my hair is gone, the wigs will be a bit more comfortable. Or I'll get some sort of cap to wear under them.
That's about it--anything else you'd like to know?
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there! We went to an Italian buffet. Juli, Brian, Hailey, River, Carol, my Mom, Pop-pop and the four of us were at a long table. And we were not the only large party there. It was perfect. And fun to be with everyone. Here's today's picture:
This one is from the Sunday after my first treatment, pre-buzz.
Thanks for all the movie suggestions. I bought Big Fish and a 4-pack of Alfred Hitchcock movies. I also added some movies to the queue. Not sure what I'll take on Thursday.
I'm going to cash in all those hugs you're sending.
God-sightings--I think the conqueror thing was a God-sighting. And I actually dreamed about the "sassy" wig before I saw it. Not my word, but the shop owner's. It's a short hair style. Picture to come later. All these dreams about my hair. Funny.
The last couple of nights I've slept well. Thanks for the prayers! Love, Nancy
Friday, May 11, 2007
The hair dilemma
It wasn't exactly a dilemma. Yet after getting the reddish-brown wig trimmed on Tuesday, it still wasn't right. I'd put it on and take it off. Put it on and couldn't decide why I didn't like it. Finally, I decided there was just too much hair on the top, it was too poofy. I decided to try a different wig shop than the first one I went to. The first one was in the Cherry Creek shopping district. It was like being on Newbury Street in Boston or on Rodeo Drive. Quite elite, lots of perfectly starched white shirts with ties and girls in high heels in perfect clothes. Nothing against looking nice. I just wasn't feeling so good about the prospect of loosing my hair or starting chemotherapy. I went the day before I started the chemo. I tried on a couple wigs and the girls were nice enough. But at $200 or $300 for a wig (or more), I couldn't commit. Yesterday's trip was better. Mom and I went to a place where the owner was cancer-free for 15 years. I found the right place. She also said she was more than a survivor, she was a conqueror. That's the same word I've chosen. A conqueror. Although I've been surprised when someone says something about my "battle with cancer" or or my "fight with cancer." I don't feel like it's a battle or a fight. Yet in choosing "conqueror," I'm also choosing "battle" and "fight." I digress. I found success at this new shop. She even fixed my first wig. I don't know how much I'll wear a wig but I have the choice now.
My hair is starting to go. It's not falling out but I can pull it right out. Like a dozen little hairs at one time. It doesn't feel like anything. I'm so glad I cut it last week. I think pulling out a dozen long strands would be too much. OK, so pulling out little hairs is weird too. This morning, my scalp felt like I had a pony tail in too tight and had just taken the elastic out. You girls know how that feels.
How am I feeling? Sort of how it was after the babies were born. I'll be doing something and all of a sudden it's time to quit and rest. I do seem to bounce back faster now. Sleeping is still an issue. I get about halfway through the night and wake up. I can't bring myself to take the very expensive sleeping pills. Oh I have them. There's also the problem of the side effects-the sleep-eating, sleep-cooking and sleep-driving. When I mentioned those, the doc said that those are rare side-effects. We'll see.
My hair is starting to go. It's not falling out but I can pull it right out. Like a dozen little hairs at one time. It doesn't feel like anything. I'm so glad I cut it last week. I think pulling out a dozen long strands would be too much. OK, so pulling out little hairs is weird too. This morning, my scalp felt like I had a pony tail in too tight and had just taken the elastic out. You girls know how that feels.
How am I feeling? Sort of how it was after the babies were born. I'll be doing something and all of a sudden it's time to quit and rest. I do seem to bounce back faster now. Sleeping is still an issue. I get about halfway through the night and wake up. I can't bring myself to take the very expensive sleeping pills. Oh I have them. There's also the problem of the side effects-the sleep-eating, sleep-cooking and sleep-driving. When I mentioned those, the doc said that those are rare side-effects. We'll see.
Monday, May 7, 2007
The haircut
So Friday came and my friend, Laurie cut my hair. I had a moment or two of angst. I've had my hair a long time. And without it, it's a little more evident that something medical is going on. We scissor cut it first. Buzzing it felt kind of nice. When Jay got home, Aaron said, "Look at Mom, she has a boy haircut!" He seems to be catching on a little more. After the first surgery, he asked, "Mom are you done going to the doctor?" We told him no of course. As he hears words on TV (Tony Snow & Elizabeth Edwards in the news), he'll say, "Mom you have chemotherapy." Or "You have cancer." He also said one day during homework, "I could write 'My mom has cancer' but I don't want to write that sentence.
Did you see Ted Koppel's show on Discovery, Living With Cancer? It was enlightening. Try to catch it. They'll be airing it again. Here's a link: http://health.discovery.com/centers/cancer/cancer-collage/cancer-collage.html I haven't seen the collage because it's just a little too close for me to look at them now. But it reminded me that I've had this feeling of being BREAST CANCER who's name is nancy. I am still Nancy who happens to have a crappy disease that is quite curable for me. Again-no cancer in my lymph nodes is huge.
Back to the hair. Sleeping was different. Saturday morning, I decided I wasn't leaving the house at all. Do I really need to go anywhere, ever? By the afternoon, we decided to go get some pizza and go to the store. It wasn't so bad. But some people stare. Some ignore me pointedly. It's like, don't think of pink elephants but that's all you can think of. Every man thinks, "That could be my wife-sister-mom" and every woman thinks, "That could be me." Ted Koppel put it so well, "Life is terminal. We will all die some day." Another truth is that we all have something that we need to deal with, this cancer is my something.
Are you trying to picture me with a boy haircut? I'm working on some pictures. Just stay tuned...
Did you see Ted Koppel's show on Discovery, Living With Cancer? It was enlightening. Try to catch it. They'll be airing it again. Here's a link: http://health.discovery.com/centers/cancer/cancer-collage/cancer-collage.html I haven't seen the collage because it's just a little too close for me to look at them now. But it reminded me that I've had this feeling of being BREAST CANCER who's name is nancy. I am still Nancy who happens to have a crappy disease that is quite curable for me. Again-no cancer in my lymph nodes is huge.
Back to the hair. Sleeping was different. Saturday morning, I decided I wasn't leaving the house at all. Do I really need to go anywhere, ever? By the afternoon, we decided to go get some pizza and go to the store. It wasn't so bad. But some people stare. Some ignore me pointedly. It's like, don't think of pink elephants but that's all you can think of. Every man thinks, "That could be my wife-sister-mom" and every woman thinks, "That could be me." Ted Koppel put it so well, "Life is terminal. We will all die some day." Another truth is that we all have something that we need to deal with, this cancer is my something.
Are you trying to picture me with a boy haircut? I'm working on some pictures. Just stay tuned...
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Thursday; May 3
To answer the question: How does chemotherapy know to go after the cancer cells? I pulled this from the Rocky Mountain Cancer Center's site: Chemotherapy, the treatment of cancer with special drugs, is used to keep cancer from spreading, to slow a cancer's growth and to relieve the symptoms that are caused by cancer. Chemotherapy drugs are designed to destroy or change cancer cells to bring the disease under control. Each drug affects cancer cells in a different way. Some drugs actually break down parts of the cells, some disrupt the cell's growth cycle at particular stages and others deplete "food" needed by the cancer cells. Chemotherapy drugs affect both normal and cancerous cells. Although both types of cells are damaged, normal cells have a greater ability to repair this damage and to continue living than do the cancerous cells. For more info: http://www.coloradocancercenters.com/
My new hair came yesterday. The old hair goes tomorrow. I just can't wait around for it to fall out in clumps. I decided to go a bit on the red side, reddish brown. It's nice not to see all those gray hairs that stick straight up... And it really looks like my cut. Although with all this wind here, I may be the woman running after a small furry thing!
Again, I don't mind if you call, but I may not be able to get back to you soon. I will do my best. And if you can't wait, call again. You're not going to bother me. It's just that all the rules have changed.
My new hair came yesterday. The old hair goes tomorrow. I just can't wait around for it to fall out in clumps. I decided to go a bit on the red side, reddish brown. It's nice not to see all those gray hairs that stick straight up... And it really looks like my cut. Although with all this wind here, I may be the woman running after a small furry thing!
Again, I don't mind if you call, but I may not be able to get back to you soon. I will do my best. And if you can't wait, call again. You're not going to bother me. It's just that all the rules have changed.
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