Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I'm starting tamoxifen. It seems fitting. I am thankful that there is a medication that will prevent cancer from growing. But I'm kinda tired of this program.

You know what else I'm tired of? I'm tired of doctors, appointments, thinking, co-pays, dentists, optometrists, eye-glasses, medical records, books about cancer, books about surviving cancer, articles about surviving, nutrition, dietitians who don't come prepared, myths about cancer, lies on the internet, more co-pays, cancer, my fallible body, aches & pains, "do this", the feeling that the day isn't long enough to do all that's required...

What else I'm sick of: the war-that isn't really a "war" anymore but men and women are still dying, a tour of 15 months, more than one tour, soldiers who have gone three times, the media coverage of it, 5 long years at war...


CHANGING CHANNELS: If you're tired of the program, change the channel. If only it would be so easy. Something difficult to deal with is when someone you love has to go through a possible breast cancer diagnosis. Most of you reading this are saying, ya, tell me something I don't know. I've had three friends with breast issues. So far, one had to get a biopsy. Still waiting on final results. I think I'm finally getting mad. Cancer makes me mad. It's not that I didn't consider your thoughts and feelings at my diagnosis. It's easier to be the one going through it. Stacy told me this and I had no idea what she meant til now. I only thought of you when I was diagnosed, not myself. A friend said recently that she was scared of what would happen to me. I figured I'd do what I needed to do because I have the Lord right beside me. But that doesn't stop me from being mad that someone else might have to do what I've done.

Let me tell you about Stacy. She was Nate's third grade teacher last year. Of all the places we could have lived, of all the schools the boys could have gone to (there are 28 elementary schools in our district), we ended up with Stacy as Nate's teacher. Stacy was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2005. She sent me to her surgeon and oncologist. That made the difference between a mastectomy and a lumpectomy. There are no coincidences. God set it all up. There's just no other way to look at it. We just learned that Stacy's daughter, Gabi, has been chosen to be a junior reporter for the Democratic National Convention which is held in Denver this year. She is one of three students chosen in Colorado. There may be television interviews of the kids. This is huge! Gabi has credentials. Stacy drops her off at the convention center, Gabi meets her "handler" and off she goes. Here's another story Gabi wrote: http://www.rnrk.com/COKids092807.pdf We know a celebrity!!!

Back to thankfulness--I'm in a better frame of mind now that I got that out of my head. I am ever so thankful for friends and family who have been on this ride with me. I couldn't have done it without Jesus and without you. The ride isn't over. Not so sure it ever will be. But, for now, it's a quiet time. Thank you for your prayers and calls. Lots of love, nancy