First mammo since surgery a year ago

I had a bad experience. You know, I'm not sure what would make it OK. Not much really. They can't take it back. Time at this point. Time heals. Well it isn't moving along fast enough.

I did tell the tech that I've had occassional discomfort in my affected breast. (Now that sounds so clinical. But it doesn't have cancer in it anymore. It doesn't sound right to say my "surgered" breast. My broken breast? My half a breast? My right breast? I think that could do.) During the mammo, I just wanted it over with as fast as possible. I never said stop but I did tell her it hurt and to hurry. She did two of each and then I had to do two more on the right. I did expect some discomfort. But not to be in tears when she was doing them. That's not right. And really--was I going to say something like: Oh excuse me I think this machine is in the wrong place--or are you sure that's the right tray to use for my mammogram? No I don't think so. However, I do have the right to stop the tech. Or to request another tech to finish. And so today--a full 48 hours later--I have pain in my sternum, armpit, side, under my breast, swelling of my breast. Lightly touching these areas is painful. Choices--not a whole lot. I have to go. I will not go back to that tech. I left a message with the oncologist. I spoke to the director of the mammo clinic. She'll talk to the tech. If they don't have this feedback, they cannot make changes. If you have had a bad experience--call the director of your clinic. Surgery or not, it shouldn't hurt like this. I know my other ones never did. Discomfort perhaps-but no tears! It ought to feel like getting your blood pressure done. Unless of course you go to my oncologist's office and they use a machine that pumps it up way too high and your arm turns red. In that case--that's too hard. Ask them to do it manually. You might be thinking that I'm just too sensitive to pain these days. I don't think that. If I were more sensitive, I might have stopped her from hurting me further. It all gives me a stomach ache.

The good news is that there's nothing there. I'm free and clear for six more months. Then I go back. The director told me to call her when it's time to make my appointment and she would ensure that I got the right tech. The tech who did my mammo the day of surgery was perfect. I requested her.

Two days in a row, I woke up at 2 am and didn't go back to sleep. I don't mind waking up but to not go back to sleep, that's crazy. That's how this has bothered me. I'm going to try a nap. And so the saga continues...and these are the days of our lives.