So it's finally happened: I've been called "sir." The powder blue of my sweater and the big, dangling earings weren't enough to say, "I'm a girl." Stacy said to expect it. I did. Although she got a free turkey out of it when it happened to her at Honeybaked Ham. I didn't get anything. Just to pay for my breakfast.
Nate and I went out to breakfast and shopping early. I don't think we got any bargains.
It's snowing again today. I thought it was supposed to be 50 and sunny. I'm down to talking about the weather--see you later-
Friday, November 23, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving!
Today I'm starting tamoxifen. It seems fitting. I am thankful that there is a medication that will prevent cancer from growing. But I'm kinda tired of this program.
You know what else I'm tired of? I'm tired of doctors, appointments, thinking, co-pays, dentists, optometrists, eye-glasses, medical records, books about cancer, books about surviving cancer, articles about surviving, nutrition, dietitians who don't come prepared, myths about cancer, lies on the internet, more co-pays, cancer, my fallible body, aches & pains, "do this", the feeling that the day isn't long enough to do all that's required...
What else I'm sick of: the war-that isn't really a "war" anymore but men and women are still dying, a tour of 15 months, more than one tour, soldiers who have gone three times, the media coverage of it, 5 long years at war...
CHANGING CHANNELS: If you're tired of the program, change the channel. If only it would be so easy. Something difficult to deal with is when someone you love has to go through a possible breast cancer diagnosis. Most of you reading this are saying, ya, tell me something I don't know. I've had three friends with breast issues. So far, one had to get a biopsy. Still waiting on final results. I think I'm finally getting mad. Cancer makes me mad. It's not that I didn't consider your thoughts and feelings at my diagnosis. It's easier to be the one going through it. Stacy told me this and I had no idea what she meant til now. I only thought of you when I was diagnosed, not myself. A friend said recently that she was scared of what would happen to me. I figured I'd do what I needed to do because I have the Lord right beside me. But that doesn't stop me from being mad that someone else might have to do what I've done.
Let me tell you about Stacy. She was Nate's third grade teacher last year. Of all the places we could have lived, of all the schools the boys could have gone to (there are 28 elementary schools in our district), we ended up with Stacy as Nate's teacher. Stacy was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2005. She sent me to her surgeon and oncologist. That made the difference between a mastectomy and a lumpectomy. There are no coincidences. God set it all up. There's just no other way to look at it. We just learned that Stacy's daughter, Gabi, has been chosen to be a junior reporter for the Democratic National Convention which is held in Denver this year. She is one of three students chosen in Colorado. There may be television interviews of the kids. This is huge! Gabi has credentials. Stacy drops her off at the convention center, Gabi meets her "handler" and off she goes. Here's another story Gabi wrote: http://www.rnrk.com/COKids092807.pdf We know a celebrity!!!
Back to thankfulness--I'm in a better frame of mind now that I got that out of my head. I am ever so thankful for friends and family who have been on this ride with me. I couldn't have done it without Jesus and without you. The ride isn't over. Not so sure it ever will be. But, for now, it's a quiet time. Thank you for your prayers and calls. Lots of love, nancy
You know what else I'm tired of? I'm tired of doctors, appointments, thinking, co-pays, dentists, optometrists, eye-glasses, medical records, books about cancer, books about surviving cancer, articles about surviving, nutrition, dietitians who don't come prepared, myths about cancer, lies on the internet, more co-pays, cancer, my fallible body, aches & pains, "do this", the feeling that the day isn't long enough to do all that's required...
What else I'm sick of: the war-that isn't really a "war" anymore but men and women are still dying, a tour of 15 months, more than one tour, soldiers who have gone three times, the media coverage of it, 5 long years at war...
CHANGING CHANNELS: If you're tired of the program, change the channel. If only it would be so easy. Something difficult to deal with is when someone you love has to go through a possible breast cancer diagnosis. Most of you reading this are saying, ya, tell me something I don't know. I've had three friends with breast issues. So far, one had to get a biopsy. Still waiting on final results. I think I'm finally getting mad. Cancer makes me mad. It's not that I didn't consider your thoughts and feelings at my diagnosis. It's easier to be the one going through it. Stacy told me this and I had no idea what she meant til now. I only thought of you when I was diagnosed, not myself. A friend said recently that she was scared of what would happen to me. I figured I'd do what I needed to do because I have the Lord right beside me. But that doesn't stop me from being mad that someone else might have to do what I've done.
Let me tell you about Stacy. She was Nate's third grade teacher last year. Of all the places we could have lived, of all the schools the boys could have gone to (there are 28 elementary schools in our district), we ended up with Stacy as Nate's teacher. Stacy was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2005. She sent me to her surgeon and oncologist. That made the difference between a mastectomy and a lumpectomy. There are no coincidences. God set it all up. There's just no other way to look at it. We just learned that Stacy's daughter, Gabi, has been chosen to be a junior reporter for the Democratic National Convention which is held in Denver this year. She is one of three students chosen in Colorado. There may be television interviews of the kids. This is huge! Gabi has credentials. Stacy drops her off at the convention center, Gabi meets her "handler" and off she goes. Here's another story Gabi wrote: http://www.rnrk.com/COKids092807.pdf We know a celebrity!!!
Back to thankfulness--I'm in a better frame of mind now that I got that out of my head. I am ever so thankful for friends and family who have been on this ride with me. I couldn't have done it without Jesus and without you. The ride isn't over. Not so sure it ever will be. But, for now, it's a quiet time. Thank you for your prayers and calls. Lots of love, nancy
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Tuesday again
Those days just keep repeating themselves...
I went to the dentist today. Just for a cleaning. The hygenist used this water-drill-tooth cleaner thing. It sounded like a drill. It splashed a mist of water all over. The water dripped down my face. I actually didn't like how my make-up went on this morning anyway. And then I called a friend whose boys did the message on their answering machine. It was hilarious. I think you had to be there but it was funny. They told me I was getting sleepy and that I should tell them a joke. I couldn't even think of one that fast. And my eyes watered so my make-up ran. (Where did it run to?) I think I'm just delirious from the drill sound. There was still scraping but it didn't take quite so long.
Baseball, baseball, baseball. It's all over. It was so much fun talking about the Rockies playing the Red Sox. Until the pounding began. I wanted them both to win. Ridiculous, I know. It's still pretty amazing that the Rockies made it to the world series after being in last place at the beginning of the season. Nate's suffered some teasing about his Red Sox gear. I'm sure he's teased back though.
I have to start that tamoxifen. I've read about all I can read. I talked to the nurse. I'm still not so sure about it. Why is that? Maybe I feel like I have some sort of choice. Not really. The numbers he gave me at the beginning of all of this included the tamoxifen treatment. I'm around 91% done with this breast cancer thing as long as I take the tamoxifen. So there's a 9% chance it comes back at 10 years out. Just can't seem to make it right in my mind.
I had my hair debut in Massachusetts. I went to my old bible study without a wig and without a hat. I am so glad to be done with wigs. Although Aaron & Nate aren't so sure. Aaron still wants me to wear my wig if I have to go into his school. I hate to tell him but I'm so done! I'm going in on Thursday to volunteer to teach the kids about drugs and alcohol. It's their Red Ribbon Week signifying drug and alcohol prevention. For those of you snickering, I have to learn to teach my boys about it sometime. And just because I made some bad decisions in the past, doesn't mean I can't teach the boys about the right decisions to make. I figure I might as well learn to teach others' children first.
I'm sitting here wondering why I have a headache. Well, I just went to the dentist. I'm off to go get some ibuprofen. Be blessed! Love, nancy
I went to the dentist today. Just for a cleaning. The hygenist used this water-drill-tooth cleaner thing. It sounded like a drill. It splashed a mist of water all over. The water dripped down my face. I actually didn't like how my make-up went on this morning anyway. And then I called a friend whose boys did the message on their answering machine. It was hilarious. I think you had to be there but it was funny. They told me I was getting sleepy and that I should tell them a joke. I couldn't even think of one that fast. And my eyes watered so my make-up ran. (Where did it run to?) I think I'm just delirious from the drill sound. There was still scraping but it didn't take quite so long.
Baseball, baseball, baseball. It's all over. It was so much fun talking about the Rockies playing the Red Sox. Until the pounding began. I wanted them both to win. Ridiculous, I know. It's still pretty amazing that the Rockies made it to the world series after being in last place at the beginning of the season. Nate's suffered some teasing about his Red Sox gear. I'm sure he's teased back though.
I have to start that tamoxifen. I've read about all I can read. I talked to the nurse. I'm still not so sure about it. Why is that? Maybe I feel like I have some sort of choice. Not really. The numbers he gave me at the beginning of all of this included the tamoxifen treatment. I'm around 91% done with this breast cancer thing as long as I take the tamoxifen. So there's a 9% chance it comes back at 10 years out. Just can't seem to make it right in my mind.
I had my hair debut in Massachusetts. I went to my old bible study without a wig and without a hat. I am so glad to be done with wigs. Although Aaron & Nate aren't so sure. Aaron still wants me to wear my wig if I have to go into his school. I hate to tell him but I'm so done! I'm going in on Thursday to volunteer to teach the kids about drugs and alcohol. It's their Red Ribbon Week signifying drug and alcohol prevention. For those of you snickering, I have to learn to teach my boys about it sometime. And just because I made some bad decisions in the past, doesn't mean I can't teach the boys about the right decisions to make. I figure I might as well learn to teach others' children first.
I'm sitting here wondering why I have a headache. Well, I just went to the dentist. I'm off to go get some ibuprofen. Be blessed! Love, nancy
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Saturday, November 10
Saw the radiologist. Quick check-up. All is well. I'll see him again in 6 months. The only left over side effect is some muscle tightness that I stretch out daily. I also have some tenderness in my ribs that might be in the bones or the muscles. Ibuprofen takes care of it.
The eye exam--Jay gave me yet a third answer from his HR department. How is it that the insurance website and their customer service don't have this information? And without the actual policy, I hardly know what's right. Although the info from the HR department must be right.
Today we're cleaning house. Not my first preference because Saturday morning house cleaning is awful. But it needs done. You know, the crumbs under the kitchen counter may start growing things. I did get all the laundry done yesterday. That took 3 days. Now we have to put it away which sometimes takes 3 weeks...
The eye exam--Jay gave me yet a third answer from his HR department. How is it that the insurance website and their customer service don't have this information? And without the actual policy, I hardly know what's right. Although the info from the HR department must be right.
Today we're cleaning house. Not my first preference because Saturday morning house cleaning is awful. But it needs done. You know, the crumbs under the kitchen counter may start growing things. I did get all the laundry done yesterday. That took 3 days. Now we have to put it away which sometimes takes 3 weeks...
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Tuesday, Nov. 6
Aaron was home yesterday. He went with me to my appointment with my surgeon. The office staff told me how well behaved he was and so quiet. And then at home with Nate, he just won't leave well enough alone. (And just what does that mean? Anyone know where that saying came from?) Back to the appointment, I had to pick up some records. Aaron told me that he keeps an invisible friend for me. I was telling him that I enjoyed having someone to talk to when I did these appointments. Aaron said otherwise I would just have to talk to my invisible friend. When I told him I didn't have one, he said he had one for me. He said she was about as tall as him and had green eyes. I never would have known.
The surgeon is very well pleased with my progress. She thought I did very well through the radiation, that my skin looks great. I'll see her in another three months. Or at least as long as the insurance will pay. Because I think they may not pay at some point.
Oh and insurance--I need to get my eyes examined. So I called twice for information. The second call was mainly to clarify something from the first call. It turns out that I got two different answers to the same question. Hmm. Now I have no idea where I ought to go for the eye exam. We still don't have the actual policy to refer to for this info. The plan was effective on August 1. The website won't give me the info, I have to use Jay's log-in. The website doesn't even explain what I need anyway. It only gives me the summary of benefits. Regular healthcare shouldn't be this difficult to obtain.
I'm making sweet potato-cranberry quick bread today. It smells really good in here. Like the cooks on the food channel I should say, MMMMMM and yum and totally irritate you.
We didn't gt to see everyone we wanted to see in Massachusetts. It was a whirlwind. I will probably go alone or with the boys the next time. Jay enjoyed seeing some friends but all the running around was not his idea of fun. I was looking up a recipe for some apple cider cake or donuts. We had some at Russell Orchards in Ipswich, MA. I found out that they make some of the best ones in MA! They were written up numerous times. We went to Crane Beach and stopped at the orchard on the way. The boys picked up lots of shells, sea wood pieces and sand. I found that today in Aaron's pants' pockets as I was doing laundry. We had two friend get togethers. One at the hotel at the pool and the second at candlepin bowling at Harvard Lanes. Stow Fastlanes closed 8 months ago. Too bad, I liked it better. Here's what candlepin bowling is if you've never heard of it or never saw it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candlepin_bowling The boys are satisfied with the time they had with friends. I know they wanted more as I did but it will wait til next time. Now we'll just focus on writing and calling one another. We also went to a science museum http://www.see-sciencecenter.org/ in Manchester, NH. We stopped there on our way out of town since we flew into & out of MHT. Nathan got a blow up astronaut that he's wanted for years! I wouldn't let him get it when we went 2 1/2 years ago and he would not let me forget it. All is well in his mind now. We went to the MIT Museum. http://web.mit.edu/museum/ Way too much brain power there for me. Not that I don't like all that stuff. Nate told us he wants to go to MIT. Great. I better get a job now so I can pay for it then. The boys also did their first trick-or-treating. We usually go some place where there's a party and games. Last year we went to the Butterfly Pavillion and celebrated Pop-pop's birthday there. Trick-or-treating: Nate was a Boston Red Sox player and Aaron was just decorated in bats with face paint and a t-shirt. The neighborhood was one street and twelve houses. That was small enough for me and enough for Jay to go with the boys and be happy they went. Thanks to Roni and Russ and Meredith for suggesting it. Nate ended up loosing most of his candy because they were running through the bushes. His smallish bag has disappeared from the den. That's good because I threw away some other candy that had sat in the den for 4 days. Not all of it, just some. He wasn't happy when he discovered it missing.
We're just getting back to our routines. Grocery shopping Sunday, laundry today. Not sure what the weekend holds for us. Talk to you soon, love, nancy
The surgeon is very well pleased with my progress. She thought I did very well through the radiation, that my skin looks great. I'll see her in another three months. Or at least as long as the insurance will pay. Because I think they may not pay at some point.
Oh and insurance--I need to get my eyes examined. So I called twice for information. The second call was mainly to clarify something from the first call. It turns out that I got two different answers to the same question. Hmm. Now I have no idea where I ought to go for the eye exam. We still don't have the actual policy to refer to for this info. The plan was effective on August 1. The website won't give me the info, I have to use Jay's log-in. The website doesn't even explain what I need anyway. It only gives me the summary of benefits. Regular healthcare shouldn't be this difficult to obtain.
I'm making sweet potato-cranberry quick bread today. It smells really good in here. Like the cooks on the food channel I should say, MMMMMM and yum and totally irritate you.
We didn't gt to see everyone we wanted to see in Massachusetts. It was a whirlwind. I will probably go alone or with the boys the next time. Jay enjoyed seeing some friends but all the running around was not his idea of fun. I was looking up a recipe for some apple cider cake or donuts. We had some at Russell Orchards in Ipswich, MA. I found out that they make some of the best ones in MA! They were written up numerous times. We went to Crane Beach and stopped at the orchard on the way. The boys picked up lots of shells, sea wood pieces and sand. I found that today in Aaron's pants' pockets as I was doing laundry. We had two friend get togethers. One at the hotel at the pool and the second at candlepin bowling at Harvard Lanes. Stow Fastlanes closed 8 months ago. Too bad, I liked it better. Here's what candlepin bowling is if you've never heard of it or never saw it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candlepin_bowling The boys are satisfied with the time they had with friends. I know they wanted more as I did but it will wait til next time. Now we'll just focus on writing and calling one another. We also went to a science museum http://www.see-sciencecenter.org/ in Manchester, NH. We stopped there on our way out of town since we flew into & out of MHT. Nathan got a blow up astronaut that he's wanted for years! I wouldn't let him get it when we went 2 1/2 years ago and he would not let me forget it. All is well in his mind now. We went to the MIT Museum. http://web.mit.edu/museum/ Way too much brain power there for me. Not that I don't like all that stuff. Nate told us he wants to go to MIT. Great. I better get a job now so I can pay for it then. The boys also did their first trick-or-treating. We usually go some place where there's a party and games. Last year we went to the Butterfly Pavillion and celebrated Pop-pop's birthday there. Trick-or-treating: Nate was a Boston Red Sox player and Aaron was just decorated in bats with face paint and a t-shirt. The neighborhood was one street and twelve houses. That was small enough for me and enough for Jay to go with the boys and be happy they went. Thanks to Roni and Russ and Meredith for suggesting it. Nate ended up loosing most of his candy because they were running through the bushes. His smallish bag has disappeared from the den. That's good because I threw away some other candy that had sat in the den for 4 days. Not all of it, just some. He wasn't happy when he discovered it missing.
We're just getting back to our routines. Grocery shopping Sunday, laundry today. Not sure what the weekend holds for us. Talk to you soon, love, nancy
Monday, November 5, 2007
Back to the routine
We went to Boston last week. The boys fought every moment they were in the car. You know, you're breathing my air kind of fighting. Tonight Aaron lost it because he thought the cereal he picked out was his, and his alone. Even though we never, ever have chosen cereal for one person. And so I can't even think of anything good to say...
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