Welcome

In an effort to reduce phone calls, e-mails and to limit me talking about all this, I've created this blog. Unfathomable. Blogs, tattoos and plastic surgeons. I don't have a plastic surgeon but will get a couple of dot tattoos for radiation. It has been hard to hear your reactions when I tell you things. I'm not talking to anyone in particular. It's just hard to make these calls. It's alot to take in. I'm trying to conserve energy. Don't take it personally.

Here's the latest:
Chemotherapy starts this Friday. It's minimal. I thought I'd be going for 8 months, once a week. I don't know why. My schedule is to go once every 21 days for 4 chemo sessions. I'll be done at the end of June. Dr. Paul, my oncologist, made it sound like I had a choice. If I chose not to do chemo, there is a 19% chance it comes back in 10 years. If I do chemo, there's only about a 9.5% chance it comes back. There's no absolutes. These percentages are based on a genetic test done in California on the two lumps or tumors.

Radiation will be done about 4-6 weeks after chemotherapy ends. I will do 25-35 sessions, over a period of 5-6 weeks, daily minus weekends and holidays. Small price to pay to insure the cancer's gone.

I expect my hair to fall out. I'm going to get hats and some hair. I'll cut it before it goes away in clumps. There are meds to take care of other possible side effects (i.e., nausea, anemia, infection, etc.). It's actually quite complicated. But it's all written down. If this happens, do this. If that happens, do that. I need a flow chart. Doc says it's important for me to maintain my normal routine, but I'll be tired and otherwise don't know quite what to expect or know what I'll need.

Some good news is a normal blood pressure reading at the radiologist's... and I haven't had a normal one for a long time. No surprise there. Of course, when I had it taken at the oncologist's, it wouldn't read correctly the first two times so that made it higher. It's an automatic, squeeze-your-arm-until-it-feels-like-you-can't-breathe, blood pressure monitor. Now I'm not sure how they'll take it. I'll get a port in my left upper arm and my right arm had the lymph node taken out. No blood draws or BPs in the right arm.

Other news is that we found a house. You know, because having cancer isn't stressful enough. We'll close on May 15 and have until June 15 to move.

Some God-sightings: The Lord provided a dentist within minutes of my prayer. The oncologist said I can't have dental work, even cleanings, while on chemo. I needed to get my teeth cleaned within three weeks. My experience in scheduling cleanings is that it takes months. I phoned one dentist in the same medical center that our doctor and the boys' dentist are in. Someone had cancelled a 2 hour appointment, and they took me within 20 minutes of my call. And she even said my gums look great!! It's nice to get good news! Second God-sighting: Yesterday I was feeling a bit overwhelmed at all the info I got from a nurse teaching me about the chemo sessions. I'm not nervous, it's just so much to take in. As I was driving, I prayed, "God, you better make a way for me because I'm not sure." Within minutes, I pulled behind a truck with this bumper sticker: "Don't worry. God's in Control." There are no coincidences.

How do I feel? Like I'm living a surreal life. I feel normal. Yes, I had surgery. But I'm mostly recovered. I know that the chemo will probably make the cancer seem more real. Never had symptoms, never felt anything. Even the surgeon said she couldn't feel it.

We had a snow storm yesterday. More expected today. I'm down to talking about the weather-time to go. love, nancy