Sunday we baked cookies with Jodi. We made cream cheese cut out cookies, peanut butter & hersey's kisses, and turtles. We had a great day. And then the toilet overflowed. I was going to title this post as the "poop report". But now I can also add the "puke report" to it! We've had quite a few days. We thought one of the twins put an ornament down the toilet. I couldn't find an angel. But Aaron found it. We really don't know what happened to the toilet. Jay bought two snakes but we still had to call someone to come fix it. And then the boys and I got the throw-up virus that Jodi brought. Jay only got a fever and that over-all sick, run down feeling. Pretty much everyone got it. Brian and the twins and Carol. Only Juli & Grandpa didn't. That's good because he's 90. And I'm not sure how Juli didn't either.
We're feeling better. Tomorrow we're going looking for a new Christmas tree for next year. We have high ceilings and want a taller tree. Not sure if there will be any left.
Christmas day we got about 6-8 inches of snow. We drove up to Carol's, ate dinner and left. The drive was rough. Then we also got snow on the 27th. About another 5 inches. I think I'm ready for winter to be over. Although we're supposed to get 50's next week.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Merry Christmas!
Hello you faithful readers. Let's back up to last week. River, my two-year old nephew, was in the hospital from last Thursday to Sunday with pneumonia. Hailey was also sick but not as bad. Then Juli and Brian got sick. Not a fun house to be in. They are all feeling better.
Nate had three parties to go to at school. He wanted three different treats to take in. I actually got them done. I did not get Aaron's snowman cookies done but he thought giving everyone one for his birthday in January would be OK.
Jay and I have been out for an evening without kids twice this month. It's kind of nice. But I really can't remember the time before these two that we were out alone. We need to go more often.
I've been on the tamoxifen for about a month. I'm having hot flashes. I wake up in the night with them. There's a prayer request-that I could sleep through the night. Men, skip to the next paragraph--girl talk--I found a bra that makes things even. Before the surgery I was uneven one way--now it's uneven the other way. But this bra is fantastic! No more lop-sidedness! It's the small victories that get us through.
Jodi flies in on Saturday. We're making cookies on Sunday. Last year, I went to a baking day/cookie exchange. I missed it this year. So I am ready for a variety of cookies. And it is always fun to bake together.
I gave up trying to get cards out this year. So Merry Christmas and Happy 2008! Lots of love, nancy
Nate had three parties to go to at school. He wanted three different treats to take in. I actually got them done. I did not get Aaron's snowman cookies done but he thought giving everyone one for his birthday in January would be OK.
Jay and I have been out for an evening without kids twice this month. It's kind of nice. But I really can't remember the time before these two that we were out alone. We need to go more often.
I've been on the tamoxifen for about a month. I'm having hot flashes. I wake up in the night with them. There's a prayer request-that I could sleep through the night. Men, skip to the next paragraph--girl talk--I found a bra that makes things even. Before the surgery I was uneven one way--now it's uneven the other way. But this bra is fantastic! No more lop-sidedness! It's the small victories that get us through.
Jodi flies in on Saturday. We're making cookies on Sunday. Last year, I went to a baking day/cookie exchange. I missed it this year. So I am ready for a variety of cookies. And it is always fun to bake together.
I gave up trying to get cards out this year. So Merry Christmas and Happy 2008! Lots of love, nancy
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Tuesday, Dec. 11
I went to a Christmas brunch today with Kathy's Bible study group. I decided to go back in January. Kathy said she has been thinking of me and this group for a while. I'll give it a try. And it's on Tuesday.
Snow today and last Saturday. The weather again. Hmm. Do I really have nothing else to tell you? I'm sure I could tell you lots of things. Actually--the snow--and snow removal. What is your opinion about someone with cancer shovelling snow? I shovelled the sidewalk and porch today. Oh and the back patio. There must be a rule against people with cancer shovelling. Although I'm still hung up on my place--Do I still have cancer? Well I better not after all that treatment. But is it really gone? Who knows? So if I don't have cancer then I suppose it's fine to shovel. Maybe I'm just looking for a way out...
I'm going to tell you a story...
When I was in high school, I used to own a bike just like the one pictured here. It was a yellow Schwinn. I got it in 4th or 5th grade. I loved that bike. I used to ride all over but mostly to my friend, Pam's house. Then we'd ride to McDonald's or to Murphy's Mart. You know, to get our nugget fix or our candy fix. One day, I was delivering an order of fruit that one of my neighbors purchased from me. We sold all kinds of things for band so we could go on our spring trips. My neighbor said, "Thanks for the bike." I had no idea what she meant. I'm sure the look on my face was quite full of disbelief. So I went right home and my bike was NOT in the garage where it was supposed to be. I don't really remember talking to my mom about it. I thought I'd be taking it to college. Well not anymore. Mom had decided to sell it. Cleaning out the garage kind of thing. In the years since then, we've gotten so much mileage out of this little story. I suffered a deep emotional scar from her selling my bike without telling me. And then, while we were in Boston, on our way to the MIT Museum, there was MY bike!!! It had found it's way to Boston!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Wednesday, December 5
Finally, she writes again, you say. I can't give every gory detail. Every thought or everything I do. I know that's what you want. When you feel like you're in crisis, you just can't write about it.
We got back from MA and Nate had a time of it. He acted out in school and that was my clue that something was going on. We decided to get him back to the counselor. He said over and over-I only have one friend in CO. That isn't exactly true. He did get invited to a birthday party last Saturday which came at the right time even if it was a crazy busy day. We also went with his class to see Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. He sat with a friend. Small things but they matter. He does seem more grounded this week. But a day at a time. It's hard to be somewhere where you don't feel like you have any one to talk to.
I am feeling OK but have more hot flashes. Tamoxifen isn't so noticable otherwise. I have to remember to take it. So I got one of those pill boxes with the days of the week on it. Nice. It's purple. What am I, an old buzzard that I can't remember? I even carry it with me in case I forget. Oh ya. The full effects of it ought to be felt after I've taken it for a month.
A few weeks ago, Big Lots had a small sewing machine for $12. I got it. Then Juli was trying to find a babydoll for Hailey made somewhere else than China. Some doll with no lead, please. She had trouble so I got this bright idea (it WAS!) to sew a babydoll for Hailey. I mean, I have this little sewing machine, why not try it? Off we go to the fabric store. Found a pattern. Figured out what fabric and notions I needed and made a babydoll in a few days. She's really cute. Except that I did far more hand sewing than I wanted because the little sewing machine didn't work right. I took it back and will put my $12 towards a regular, basic, tabletop machine. At which time may start making babydolls. We went to a huge craft fair. Not a doll in sight but the ones used for display. I could make dolls all year and go to this one craft fair and, and, and... I got carried away. Yet it would be something because we had a hard time finding anything on-line as well. Hmmm. Worth some more thought. The sewing machine could be a business write off. I'd call the business "Hailey's Babies." Or "Hailey's Babydolls." The only problem I see with names like that is that if you googled it, you might get some questionable sites back.
And so the rest of life here is filled with laundry. Straightening up. Cooking to a complaining audience. Boys arguing (don't look at me or you're smiling at me or you're breathing too loud). But the other night Jay told them to either settle down or go to bed. They didn't settle, and off to bed they went. That was the quietest evening I've had at home in ages. Taurus and I have been walking. We've had some good weather for it. Back to the weather--gotta end.
We got back from MA and Nate had a time of it. He acted out in school and that was my clue that something was going on. We decided to get him back to the counselor. He said over and over-I only have one friend in CO. That isn't exactly true. He did get invited to a birthday party last Saturday which came at the right time even if it was a crazy busy day. We also went with his class to see Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. He sat with a friend. Small things but they matter. He does seem more grounded this week. But a day at a time. It's hard to be somewhere where you don't feel like you have any one to talk to.
I am feeling OK but have more hot flashes. Tamoxifen isn't so noticable otherwise. I have to remember to take it. So I got one of those pill boxes with the days of the week on it. Nice. It's purple. What am I, an old buzzard that I can't remember? I even carry it with me in case I forget. Oh ya. The full effects of it ought to be felt after I've taken it for a month.
A few weeks ago, Big Lots had a small sewing machine for $12. I got it. Then Juli was trying to find a babydoll for Hailey made somewhere else than China. Some doll with no lead, please. She had trouble so I got this bright idea (it WAS!) to sew a babydoll for Hailey. I mean, I have this little sewing machine, why not try it? Off we go to the fabric store. Found a pattern. Figured out what fabric and notions I needed and made a babydoll in a few days. She's really cute. Except that I did far more hand sewing than I wanted because the little sewing machine didn't work right. I took it back and will put my $12 towards a regular, basic, tabletop machine. At which time may start making babydolls. We went to a huge craft fair. Not a doll in sight but the ones used for display. I could make dolls all year and go to this one craft fair and, and, and... I got carried away. Yet it would be something because we had a hard time finding anything on-line as well. Hmmm. Worth some more thought. The sewing machine could be a business write off. I'd call the business "Hailey's Babies." Or "Hailey's Babydolls." The only problem I see with names like that is that if you googled it, you might get some questionable sites back.
And so the rest of life here is filled with laundry. Straightening up. Cooking to a complaining audience. Boys arguing (don't look at me or you're smiling at me or you're breathing too loud). But the other night Jay told them to either settle down or go to bed. They didn't settle, and off to bed they went. That was the quietest evening I've had at home in ages. Taurus and I have been walking. We've had some good weather for it. Back to the weather--gotta end.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Finally
So it's finally happened: I've been called "sir." The powder blue of my sweater and the big, dangling earings weren't enough to say, "I'm a girl." Stacy said to expect it. I did. Although she got a free turkey out of it when it happened to her at Honeybaked Ham. I didn't get anything. Just to pay for my breakfast.
Nate and I went out to breakfast and shopping early. I don't think we got any bargains.
It's snowing again today. I thought it was supposed to be 50 and sunny. I'm down to talking about the weather--see you later-
Nate and I went out to breakfast and shopping early. I don't think we got any bargains.
It's snowing again today. I thought it was supposed to be 50 and sunny. I'm down to talking about the weather--see you later-
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving!
Today I'm starting tamoxifen. It seems fitting. I am thankful that there is a medication that will prevent cancer from growing. But I'm kinda tired of this program.
You know what else I'm tired of? I'm tired of doctors, appointments, thinking, co-pays, dentists, optometrists, eye-glasses, medical records, books about cancer, books about surviving cancer, articles about surviving, nutrition, dietitians who don't come prepared, myths about cancer, lies on the internet, more co-pays, cancer, my fallible body, aches & pains, "do this", the feeling that the day isn't long enough to do all that's required...
What else I'm sick of: the war-that isn't really a "war" anymore but men and women are still dying, a tour of 15 months, more than one tour, soldiers who have gone three times, the media coverage of it, 5 long years at war...
CHANGING CHANNELS: If you're tired of the program, change the channel. If only it would be so easy. Something difficult to deal with is when someone you love has to go through a possible breast cancer diagnosis. Most of you reading this are saying, ya, tell me something I don't know. I've had three friends with breast issues. So far, one had to get a biopsy. Still waiting on final results. I think I'm finally getting mad. Cancer makes me mad. It's not that I didn't consider your thoughts and feelings at my diagnosis. It's easier to be the one going through it. Stacy told me this and I had no idea what she meant til now. I only thought of you when I was diagnosed, not myself. A friend said recently that she was scared of what would happen to me. I figured I'd do what I needed to do because I have the Lord right beside me. But that doesn't stop me from being mad that someone else might have to do what I've done.
Let me tell you about Stacy. She was Nate's third grade teacher last year. Of all the places we could have lived, of all the schools the boys could have gone to (there are 28 elementary schools in our district), we ended up with Stacy as Nate's teacher. Stacy was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2005. She sent me to her surgeon and oncologist. That made the difference between a mastectomy and a lumpectomy. There are no coincidences. God set it all up. There's just no other way to look at it. We just learned that Stacy's daughter, Gabi, has been chosen to be a junior reporter for the Democratic National Convention which is held in Denver this year. She is one of three students chosen in Colorado. There may be television interviews of the kids. This is huge! Gabi has credentials. Stacy drops her off at the convention center, Gabi meets her "handler" and off she goes. Here's another story Gabi wrote: http://www.rnrk.com/COKids092807.pdf We know a celebrity!!!
Back to thankfulness--I'm in a better frame of mind now that I got that out of my head. I am ever so thankful for friends and family who have been on this ride with me. I couldn't have done it without Jesus and without you. The ride isn't over. Not so sure it ever will be. But, for now, it's a quiet time. Thank you for your prayers and calls. Lots of love, nancy
You know what else I'm tired of? I'm tired of doctors, appointments, thinking, co-pays, dentists, optometrists, eye-glasses, medical records, books about cancer, books about surviving cancer, articles about surviving, nutrition, dietitians who don't come prepared, myths about cancer, lies on the internet, more co-pays, cancer, my fallible body, aches & pains, "do this", the feeling that the day isn't long enough to do all that's required...
What else I'm sick of: the war-that isn't really a "war" anymore but men and women are still dying, a tour of 15 months, more than one tour, soldiers who have gone three times, the media coverage of it, 5 long years at war...
CHANGING CHANNELS: If you're tired of the program, change the channel. If only it would be so easy. Something difficult to deal with is when someone you love has to go through a possible breast cancer diagnosis. Most of you reading this are saying, ya, tell me something I don't know. I've had three friends with breast issues. So far, one had to get a biopsy. Still waiting on final results. I think I'm finally getting mad. Cancer makes me mad. It's not that I didn't consider your thoughts and feelings at my diagnosis. It's easier to be the one going through it. Stacy told me this and I had no idea what she meant til now. I only thought of you when I was diagnosed, not myself. A friend said recently that she was scared of what would happen to me. I figured I'd do what I needed to do because I have the Lord right beside me. But that doesn't stop me from being mad that someone else might have to do what I've done.
Let me tell you about Stacy. She was Nate's third grade teacher last year. Of all the places we could have lived, of all the schools the boys could have gone to (there are 28 elementary schools in our district), we ended up with Stacy as Nate's teacher. Stacy was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2005. She sent me to her surgeon and oncologist. That made the difference between a mastectomy and a lumpectomy. There are no coincidences. God set it all up. There's just no other way to look at it. We just learned that Stacy's daughter, Gabi, has been chosen to be a junior reporter for the Democratic National Convention which is held in Denver this year. She is one of three students chosen in Colorado. There may be television interviews of the kids. This is huge! Gabi has credentials. Stacy drops her off at the convention center, Gabi meets her "handler" and off she goes. Here's another story Gabi wrote: http://www.rnrk.com/COKids092807.pdf We know a celebrity!!!
Back to thankfulness--I'm in a better frame of mind now that I got that out of my head. I am ever so thankful for friends and family who have been on this ride with me. I couldn't have done it without Jesus and without you. The ride isn't over. Not so sure it ever will be. But, for now, it's a quiet time. Thank you for your prayers and calls. Lots of love, nancy
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Tuesday again
Those days just keep repeating themselves...
I went to the dentist today. Just for a cleaning. The hygenist used this water-drill-tooth cleaner thing. It sounded like a drill. It splashed a mist of water all over. The water dripped down my face. I actually didn't like how my make-up went on this morning anyway. And then I called a friend whose boys did the message on their answering machine. It was hilarious. I think you had to be there but it was funny. They told me I was getting sleepy and that I should tell them a joke. I couldn't even think of one that fast. And my eyes watered so my make-up ran. (Where did it run to?) I think I'm just delirious from the drill sound. There was still scraping but it didn't take quite so long.
Baseball, baseball, baseball. It's all over. It was so much fun talking about the Rockies playing the Red Sox. Until the pounding began. I wanted them both to win. Ridiculous, I know. It's still pretty amazing that the Rockies made it to the world series after being in last place at the beginning of the season. Nate's suffered some teasing about his Red Sox gear. I'm sure he's teased back though.
I have to start that tamoxifen. I've read about all I can read. I talked to the nurse. I'm still not so sure about it. Why is that? Maybe I feel like I have some sort of choice. Not really. The numbers he gave me at the beginning of all of this included the tamoxifen treatment. I'm around 91% done with this breast cancer thing as long as I take the tamoxifen. So there's a 9% chance it comes back at 10 years out. Just can't seem to make it right in my mind.
I had my hair debut in Massachusetts. I went to my old bible study without a wig and without a hat. I am so glad to be done with wigs. Although Aaron & Nate aren't so sure. Aaron still wants me to wear my wig if I have to go into his school. I hate to tell him but I'm so done! I'm going in on Thursday to volunteer to teach the kids about drugs and alcohol. It's their Red Ribbon Week signifying drug and alcohol prevention. For those of you snickering, I have to learn to teach my boys about it sometime. And just because I made some bad decisions in the past, doesn't mean I can't teach the boys about the right decisions to make. I figure I might as well learn to teach others' children first.
I'm sitting here wondering why I have a headache. Well, I just went to the dentist. I'm off to go get some ibuprofen. Be blessed! Love, nancy
I went to the dentist today. Just for a cleaning. The hygenist used this water-drill-tooth cleaner thing. It sounded like a drill. It splashed a mist of water all over. The water dripped down my face. I actually didn't like how my make-up went on this morning anyway. And then I called a friend whose boys did the message on their answering machine. It was hilarious. I think you had to be there but it was funny. They told me I was getting sleepy and that I should tell them a joke. I couldn't even think of one that fast. And my eyes watered so my make-up ran. (Where did it run to?) I think I'm just delirious from the drill sound. There was still scraping but it didn't take quite so long.
Baseball, baseball, baseball. It's all over. It was so much fun talking about the Rockies playing the Red Sox. Until the pounding began. I wanted them both to win. Ridiculous, I know. It's still pretty amazing that the Rockies made it to the world series after being in last place at the beginning of the season. Nate's suffered some teasing about his Red Sox gear. I'm sure he's teased back though.
I have to start that tamoxifen. I've read about all I can read. I talked to the nurse. I'm still not so sure about it. Why is that? Maybe I feel like I have some sort of choice. Not really. The numbers he gave me at the beginning of all of this included the tamoxifen treatment. I'm around 91% done with this breast cancer thing as long as I take the tamoxifen. So there's a 9% chance it comes back at 10 years out. Just can't seem to make it right in my mind.
I had my hair debut in Massachusetts. I went to my old bible study without a wig and without a hat. I am so glad to be done with wigs. Although Aaron & Nate aren't so sure. Aaron still wants me to wear my wig if I have to go into his school. I hate to tell him but I'm so done! I'm going in on Thursday to volunteer to teach the kids about drugs and alcohol. It's their Red Ribbon Week signifying drug and alcohol prevention. For those of you snickering, I have to learn to teach my boys about it sometime. And just because I made some bad decisions in the past, doesn't mean I can't teach the boys about the right decisions to make. I figure I might as well learn to teach others' children first.
I'm sitting here wondering why I have a headache. Well, I just went to the dentist. I'm off to go get some ibuprofen. Be blessed! Love, nancy
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